RE: What would you do if I sang out of tune?
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Not some romantic idealization like “a friend always has to be there for me!”
You can have both. My best friend since 11 years old is there when I need her to be, like a sister would be. We have always had a romantic friendship: 'I love you like the stars above, I love you til I die'. She can bug the hell out of me sometimes but I love her unconditionally, although sometimes I wish she'd wear deodorant, and she accepts I'll call her Stinky when she doesn't.
I'd expect honesty but also tact, and knowing where the other is at and whether they are ready to hear it. I have a mate who is brutally honest so that it is jarring - I haven't seen her for a long while now and tbh it's harder work.
I’m too much of a personality to burden only one soul with.
I hear that. It's why I don't have many friends I think. I can be changeable, like water, like air, which some people find hard. I don't always get the 'rules' of friendship. I'm very grateful for my one truest friend. We don't have all those stupid rules, just an undying committment to each other that has lasted for a very long time. Let me dig up a great photo tomorrow and you'll see straight away.
Yes, having both in the same time is the most valuable friendship. Kind of perfect. I have a friend who doesn't wear deodorant, either, but we usually meet in the morning, so it's okay. Lovely guy, too, one of those who would always be there for me, and always has.
Honesty without tact or compassion is reckless and can be very hurtful. I learned that lesson here to an extreme, being a direct person in a culture that doesn't value directness at all. Took some time to work that out, finding a way of saying things without hurting anyone.
Getting to the level where I can be myself comfortably takes time. Even though I try to be upfront with my shortcomings, it's still a work in progress.