RE: Blooming Boundaries
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Sometimes our relatives are bound by their beliefs and are trying to regain a sense of control after loss ... your mother may be frustrated because of the loss of your father and it is coming out in unhappiness toward other things that don't make sense to her. That will also affect you because you are close ... but you are right to make the space you need to be yourself, while having the option of understanding what may be happening with your mother.
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That's why I've been trying to be a lot more understanding to her because it hasn't been long my father passed. I can only hope that at one point she'll change or reflect on the things that she said to me while she's grieving or perhaps not.
Understanding and hope do not mean you are bound to live by other people's bad behavior ... it sometimes means you can move on with your life with less hard feelings, and whatever trap someone else is in does not become your own... you can be safe and whole whether they choose to come out of the trap or not, although OF COURSE, in this particular case, we hope together for the very best!