I want to be profound and... no

So, comin' at me, all you muses, from hell. Warm, syrupy, run-on things that only make me talk about the same stuff when I come to Hive. You're always fondling each other and sometimes, this one here, me, need to play rough, you know? A bit of naughty, crazy, unplanned sex. Who says sex isn't necessary? For God's sake, go and check that out! Sex is good for the elasticity... of everything... and skin. Probably for more things, but I'm not going to go into this now. I want to be profound and... no.

Sorry, I'm bored. I spent yesterday on several things that take up time, lots of time: sleeping and sweating. Now I'm not sleepy.

I wonder why I am still here in Cuba. I have no idea and I have no idea how to get out. It looks like I'm going to stay here to turn off the Morro lighthouse and eat bread with sand.

A few days ago at the meeting we had in La Flor de Zapata, someone insisted that I look into the fact that I was born in Ukraine.

👀

I have photos of this.

_{Bitcoin Pizza Day - photo taken by me}

	These were taken by @pinero

Will I be able to apply for Ukrainian citizenship? No idea. I would like to go and see the place where I was born, but I think this is not the best time. But not being Cuban might be good for a lot of things... For example, yesterday I had to leave BingX just because I am Cuban. Trading is over, for the moment. Oh, why am I even talking about this 🙄.

_{Beautiful, look at this screenshot.... Isn't the red sign cute?}

Am I reaching a point of no return? Wait, this is creative writing, and I can't make things stay that way. I'd better go through it line by line to see what's missing or left over. The best thing would be to delete and not publish anything. Delete, delete... try a word and then delete, endlessly and repetitively delete. What would you delete from your life right now?

I would erase my depressive thoughts. My condescending attitude. The lazy writer who comes around here every day... the one who says nothing and at the same time can say so much. Or simply wants to say something that she doesn't manage to say.

But lazy, in short.

My proof is in the garden. It's a mess (Sara told me to leave it to its own devices and make seed bombs). Great. I loved the idea. Anything that flattens the curve of working... My proof is that I went to cook today and had no condiments or spices. My proof is that the window and exterior grilles are waiting for me to paint them and I just look at them with hatred.

Or is it simply that there are things that are not mine to do?
A lot is going on every day and I'm trying to keep my sanity, but I'm not succeeding. I need sex. That's just it.

Ok. I'll plan what I'm going to do tomorrow and the next day and Sunday... I'm running out of time and I need to get organised.

Shopping list

• Lycra leggings, long-sleeve shirt
  I hate swimming suits and I'm going to the beach.
  Almost a week... oh, I'll miss my bike. Chanel.
  My swimming suits that I bought a century ago are already in the trash. I just put them there. The lycra leggings and the long-sleeve shirt will protect me from the sun and after I come back from the beach I can continue to use them for my bike rides.
• Spices to cook
• Eggs
• Some groceries to make a broth at the weekend.
• I could do with some ice cream (anything but strawberry)
• Ground peanuts (our energy bars) - there's bound to be a long cycling on Saturday and Sunday.

I don't know what else I need to buy, any help? If you know what number is going to be in tomorrow's charade, it's also good for me. Just tell me I'm going to get lucky!

Shopping list...

🤔
I don't need fruit, I have frozen mamey in the fridge and custard apple. Mangoes are ripe and falling off the tree all the time... maybe I need a pineapple and bananas.

Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with me that I can't even open the windows. I used to, but one day a snake was hanging out of my trousers, which were on a coat rack, right at the window opening handle. How horrifying. I screamed and screamed and reached for the machete. But no, I didn't hurt the nasty snake. Because I thought that if I cut its head off it might get 3 more... or 4. Maybe I'd just had a few drinks too many. Of water. I don't drink alcohol when I'm alone. And it's not that I gave up drinking, it's that it gave me up.

They all leave me... they get horny and leave me.

Btw, this book makes me horny! - Niñas en la Casa Vieja (Dazra Novak)

Well, I think that's enough for today. I'm going to the beach. I'm going to spend glorious days in Varadero. I'll probably have sex with some hotel waitress. That's what life was made for. Hahaha... just kidding. I'm shy.

I'm still bored. I'll go to the shower and then maybe a mug of hot milk with chocolate and some toast will help me fall asleep.

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_{Original content by @nanixxx. All rights reserved ©, 2024.}