My First Traditional Tamil Baby Shower Experience – A Day of Chandan, Sweets & Jackfruit Biryani

I attended my very first traditional Tamil baby shower last month on the 20th of April, and let me tell you, I had absolutely no clue what to expect. I’d never been to a baby shower before let alone one steeped in South Indian customs and rituals and whatnot, so I just showed up with zero context with my folks and full curiosity. It was my cousin brother’s function, and the whole extended family had gathered for it. There was warmth in the air, loads of laughter, women in beautiful sarees, and the kind of festive chaos that only family events can bring.

Now, in Tamil culture, this ceremony is often called Seemantham or Valaikappu, and it’s a pretty big deal. It’s usually done during the seventh or eighth month of the pregnancy to bless the mother to be and pray for a safe delivery. The vibe was part religious, part social, and full on sentimental.

My Paternal Grandparents ❤️ ✨

As the ceremony started, I noticed that it was mostly the women who were taking center stage. The men, as always, had the easier job of just standing around, looking semi confused 😂 and I was there to join them. There was this one ritual where the women, one by one, came forward to apply chandan (Sandalwood Paste) on both the mother to be and the father to be and also bangles. And trust me, this wasn’t a five minute thing. It took forever. Because when I say there were a lot of women, I mean a lot. Each one applied a little chandan on the couple’s cheeks and arms, said a quick blessing, and some even gave a small envelope of money as a token of good wishes. It was sweet, a bit repetitive, but really heartwarming to watch.

What I found interesting was how gendered some parts of the ritual were. Only women were allowed to apply the sandalwood paste, which I think symbolises a sort of maternal blessing women to woman, kind of thing. You could see how much it meant to the older ladies especially, who took their time with the gestures, whispering kind things, and being totally invested in the moment.

Once that marathon ritual wrapped up, a small aarthi was performed a simple yet symbolic act where a lit plate (Usually With Camphor Or A Diya) is waved in front of the couple to ward off evil and bring positive energy. This part felt familiar, something I’ve seen at weddings, and housewarmings. But what followed next was something I had never seen before in my life, and it honestly had me giggling in disbelief.

Thats My Mum In Blue ❤️

So, picture this. A long cloth almost like a dupatta or shawl was tied around my sister in law, making a big pouch or basket in front of her. And then, just like that, people started dumping sweets, snacks, and candies into it. I’m talking murukku, laddus, jeera mittai, and god knows what else. I stood there thinking, “Wait… what’s happening? Is this a blessing or a prank ? 🤣” Apparently, it’s a part of the tradition where the mom to be becomes like a giver of joy and is expected to share her abundance symbolised through sweets with the next generation. So naturally, all the kids in the house were called over and told to take as much as they wanted. She held up the cloth like a giant snack basket while the kids eagerly dug in.

I won’t lie this part was amusing as hell. I was hungry by this point and low key tempted to join the snack raid 🫣 But then reality hit me like a speeding lorry: I’m 28 years old 🙂 A full grown adult 🙂 And apparently, that means no candy raids for me 🙂 I had to silently mourn my childhood while watching these kids walk away with their tiny fists full of snacks. Ugh, adulthood 🙂

Eventually, it was time for lunch and this was something I was genuinely looking forward to. The catering was done by the mother’s side of the family, who run a food business that specializes in traditional meals for weddings and temple events. I knew we were in for something special.

Now, this is where it gets hilarious.

As I walked to my seat, I could see people eating what looked like the most glorious, rich looking biryani I’d seen in a while. It looked like mutton biryani ! the kind with perfectly cooked long grains of rice, a bit of oil glistening on top, and that unmistakable spicy aroma that hits you like a dream. My mouth was already watering, and I couldn’t wait to dig in.

So, I sit down, banana leaf ready, and the server brings this biryani to me. Just as I was about to ask for a second helping, my dad casually leans over and says, “It’s jackfruit biryani 🙂”

I stared at him.

“Excuse me ?” I said, my hand halfway to my mouth.

“Jackfruit,” he confirmed. “Not mutton.”

And in that moment, my entire soul left my body. I had been deceived. Tricked. Bamboozled. Catfished by biryani 😭 Everyone at my table saw my reaction and burst out laughing. Honestly, I laughed too it was too absurd not to. The biryani tasted great though, don’t get me wrong. The rice was flavorful and aromatic. But jackfruit ? That was a curveball. I just quietly pushed the jackfruit bits to the side of my leaf and focused on the other delicious items.

Thats My Aunt, Sister In Law & Brother In Law

There was thayir vada (Curd Vada), which was cool and refreshing, especially on a hot day. The mango pickle was a total star, sour, spicy, and beautifully chunky. There were a couple of dry curry sides and a special sweet dish called bread halwa, which I absolutely devoured. If you haven’t had it before, it’s this soft, gooey dessert made from fried bread pieces, soaked in ghee, sugar, and milk, often topped with cashews. Divine stuff 🤤

My Favourite Kesar Ice Cream 🤤

By the end of it all, I was full, sleepy, and honestly quite touched by the experience. Traditional Indian baby showers like this aren’t just about blessing the parents to be. They’re about bringing the entire family together, passing down rituals, sharing laughter, and yes sometimes falling victim to jackfruit masquerading as mutton 😪

All in all, I had a great time. I learned a lot, laughed a lot more, and maybe just maybe felt a little less cynical about adulthood. Though next time, I’m definitely sneaking a handful of those snacks from the cloth basket ceremony 🤣

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