For weeks and months I only had one goal, reaching Istanbul, by bike. The ways weren’t always easy, but one thing was always clear; the destination, Istanbul.

Many times I had to ask myself why on earth I was doing this. But never did I have to ask where I was going.

“Why am I cycling up this mountain while the sun is setting?”. The only “why” is on myself and my reluctance to learn from past mistakes. Such as pedalling at night into unknown places, which almost always leads to tears or at least stress and, sometimes very uncomfortable situations.

But even though I am questioning my acts, I am never questioning the way.

If there is a mountain between me and Istanbul, I will have to cross it. There is no option to that, I have a destination on which all my will, thought and effort is set.

How many hours did I spend pedalling up hill, drenched in sweat, to get to this city? How many times did I wonder if this time I choose an adventure that was a little too big for my shoes? And how many times did I find myself in the exact situation I had to be in, at the right time in the right place?

Cycling to Istanbul became “me” for some time. My identity, my routine, my goal.

We get up we cycle, we eat, we cycle, we sleep and cycle again. Everything else doesn’t matter much. There is no time to worry about the future or the past. No time to focus on anything else. I barely manage to write about my journey, I don’t really cook anymore, I don’t sew or draw, little phone calls and even fewer distractions. What was the last time I watched a movie?

Suddenly all that changed!

We arrive in Istanbul and for the first moments and days I am nothing but surprised and proud of ourselves to have made it. I am looking around trying to grasp that what was once far away, strange land, is now all around me. I can touch it, I am in Istanbul and as if that wasn’t enough I really did come here, all the way with my bike.

For a few days time freezes. But I am not going to stay here forever, I will have to leave. And at some point I have to decide where to.

Leaving Istanbul, almost feels like leaving behind a part of myself.
I am aware of how time is passing again. Something changed. The air smells different.

In which direction should I go? South? East? West?
I am now close to so many places, that sound very exciting. Iran. Egypt. Georgia. But do I really want to keep cycling there?
At this stage, it feels much easier to just keep going than to “return”, easier to ride my bike onwards maybe all the way to India. Or maybe it is time to just take a rest!

Keep going where to? Go back to what?

Istanbul does not lay in front of me any longer, but the adventure isn’t over.

Where is that road leading me to next?

Thank you all for stopping by, it's a pleasure to have you around!

All photos and words are my own.