RAGE

Anger and I go way back, we used to be bestfriends, maybe we still are, but now we don't get along too well and don't meet as often.

From biting and hitting people for no reason during the period of infancy and early childhood, screaming at my parents, breaking things for no reason, to school fights, phew! The list goes on haha.

I was a handful, complete nuisance, and I don't know how my parents and relatives tolerated all of that.

Yes, for all my unnecessary drama and nonsense I did get smacked and spanked a lot, sometimes a lot more than I deserved, but nowadays when I look back, from the looks of it, I'd say that I did deserve it lol. Yet, spanked or un-spanked, sometimes in a matter of hours I'd start again in full force, wreaking havoc around the house and present vicinity.

Things have changed though, I'd say as I grew older, I got a lot more "wiser".

As they saying goes...

"With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone" - Oscar Wilde

So, there's a possibility right? Maybe age did work its magic on me?

Of course, there was a learning process too, and it wasn't easy; to control my anger and my mouth, trying not to popoff whenever and wherever I want. It may sound funny, but even here, there was a fair bit of practice involved. Practice is involved in every aspect of life I'd say.

After a few specific moments and experiences of realization, I understood, that anger never was a true friend.

Anger is the type of company you should avoid. Anger could play the role of a school bully, maybe that one manipulative friend, the toxic and draining relative you wanna avoid at family gatherings. Anger in my life was impulsive, out of control, and a bit too daring and adventurous sometimes; never worried about the future repercussions that may have followed from the very poor present actions and decisions.

Fortunately, after a ton of practice, a few "life-changing" experiences, and a few days of anger management classes, I started to calm down a bit. Anger did not have full control anymore, I slowly started to gain power over the majority of my emotions and reactions. Short-temper, holding grudges, opposing someone or something for trivial matters, it all went away, antagonism as a whole started to disappear.

During my teenage years you could irritate me with the most mindless comments, but when I hit my early 20s, suddenly my mind and ears had magically opened their passage ways; assisting any sort of b*llshit to comfortably enter from one ear and then leave from the other.

That's one of my superpowers for now, but I believe it still requires some work, there's always room for improvement.

I'm still capable of getting angry, all of that rage is still there, my old friend, anger, it is there too, waving away from afar; still capable of wreaking havoc, but so far, in all these years, I never saw the need for such violence, nor was there a reason to burden myself with a long list of grudges.

Once a upon a time I did resort to such violence, but that was just my limited thinking and perspective. Full-fledged anger is never the solution, sometimes a bit of ignorance is necessary too.

But, if I was handed a clean slate, then would I ever choose to exclude my anger-management issues? I think I would've liked to keep it as it is, because no matter how angry and crazy I was, overcoming it, training my mind to not react to every little thing, it was all a part of me becoming who I am today, it is a part of my growth.

“A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them." - Carl Jung