I deserved this Vacation I guess - How I managed my mental health problems while on Euro Trip

Before posting about my non-stop euro tour travel post, I would like to highlight a few thoughts and conditions about me. I was never ready for taking any vacation trip but somehow my inner self decided to take a break from everything for a while. Many of you might know that lately, I have been going through so many emotional issues and enormous therapy sessions. My life was never been easy and taking a break in search of peace was not an easy decision for me. I am a refugee in Europe due to war in Ukraine and for me, vacation means something expensive that is hard to afford. Euro trip means you need a certain amount of money but it varies from person to person obviously. Considering my mental health, I was somehow dealing with a dilemma before paying for this trip. I am glad that I have found a Ukrainian group who organized this trip at a low cost otherwise I couldn't afford to pay for this vacation.

My psychologist and psychiatrist always suggested me take a break and go for a vacation or trip but thinking about financial problems, I completely ignored this topic. Even before the trip I was not only confused but also I was having panic attacks as well. I couldn't sleep thinking about how I am gonna make it because not only crowd makes me feel overwhelmed but also I am not social and can have a panic attack at any moment. Usually when I have a panic attack; my stress level becomes high and I start hallucinating things and become restless. I have a sleeping problem moreover I always carry nightmares with me even though in the daytime I look normal.

A few friends helped me to make this trip happen and made one of my dreams come true which was Euro Trip. Communication was an issue but with the help of @tatiana21, I was able to communicate with the organizer. She is in Kharkiv, Ukraine but from there she helped me. It's really generous of her for making time to solve my issue even though she has been going through a lot that I only know. Because I found this group on telegram and without any consultation with anybody, I paid some money to book this trip. Then somehow I lost contact with the organizer and thought that someone scammed me. And then Tatiana was the one who solved this issue. She stayed connected with me throughout the entire trip and tried to comfort me every time when I feel overwhelmed about something.

Before going on the trip, I had to find a trustworthy pet sitter for my dog Gigi but unfortunately, I didn't find anyone whom I can trust. So, at the last moment, an Indian couple decided to help me out even though they had never done pet-sitting in life. But I trusted them because I knew they will take care of my dog and my dog also trusted the couple. But still, I was taking stress because my dog is a very unique and solid naughty dog who not only doesn't listen to anyone but also she doesn't walk properly on the leash. So, still, now I wonder how that couple managed to take care of my dog. They sent me photos and did a lot of video calls while walking outside with Gigi. Gigi was happy and I know that.

The day when my trip started, I was not only overwhelmed but also I was having obsessive and intrusive thoughts. I had to take all the medications with me just in case my mental condition gets worst. After fleeing from the war, I traveled but not for pleasure and relaxation purposes, it was for survival. So, I was carrying trauma for the entire time more or less. I was exhausted because of overthinking issues and carrying emotional thoughts about my past. It took a lot of time to realize that my travel purpose was pleasure, not survival. My mixed emotions and traumas kinda haunted me while traveling but I managed myself with the medications. On day 1, my doctor called me and talked to me for hours. They tried to comfort me and told me how to control my emotions and the images that my brain was creating at that moment. It was not so easy but the good thing was that my group and @blind-spot helped me to overcome many things. Yes, @blind-spot went with me on this tour so it was a relief and less stressful than I thought. The Ukrainian group was helpful as well and I finally made some friends as well. We shared out food and the entire trip, we explored the locations together and faced problems together. So, somehow I was not alone and people who were with me never left me alone.

^{Of course, the Hive water bottle was always with me that I received last year during Hivefest. It has kept me hydrated always.}

This trip was necessary for me and my friends, doctors assured me that I deserve this vacation/trip. The trip was hectic and tiring but I guess the hecticness and tiring trip schedule helped me to stay away from all the negative thoughts. I am back in Holland now and preparing for the weekly schedules. I have to see all the doctors again. My head is not a little bit clear because I was able to make new memories and they are still super fresh. I am pretty much alone where I live and obviously, dreams are expensive so it won't be possible to travel often. I also want to highlight that even though I have traumas still but for a while I was able to keep all of my obsessive thoughts. The people around me never left me alone and were always with me and kind to me. I was scared because I and blind were the only foreigner among the Ukrainians and I thought nobody gonna accept us positively. In the end, I returned to the Netherlands safely with some good memories and with new friends. I really hope I will be able to take my life positively and will be able to accept upcoming opportunities in life...

I am gonna start posting my travel journey and locations step by step soon...I hope so at least...

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Love

Priyan...

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^{I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thought easily...}

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All images used are captured by the author...