Resilience and Adaptability - My life Update
It's been a while since I wrote something, so it felt a little bit awkward to write something after a long break. I never left Hive. I was behind the scenes, doing curation and other things. It makes me wonder when I think about how I used to write every single day, I had so much motivation, energy, and stories to tell. I think my life has become so complicated now, that's why I barely get the time to think and write something nice and motivating. When reality kicks in, it's hard to avoid, and it's better to accept and embrace all the challenges. Before writing or posting about my adventure, I thought to start writing something super simple, and what can be easier and simpler than writing my life update? It's like putting a slice of my heart infront of you...
So, what has been happening and what have I been doing so far? The answer can be I did nothing, or I did a lot of things to settle down my life. I have changed a lot as a person, and I am discovering a better version of myself. After going through a long 2 years of psychological treatment, not only do I feel better and stable, but I also have enough space to think about my future. Of course, I am not expecting or asking too much from myself, but like I said, I am discovering a new me...Is it called healing or rehabilitation? I don't know yet. My days look packed now. I do a lot of small things, and I am proud of it. I realized that at some point, I have to accept reality, so why not start from now on? With the help of my therapists and after going through enormous therapy sessions, I can finally concentrate and think more. I struggle, but not like before; I don't freeze or snap out easily. Even if I feel frozen, it doesn't last long...I am sure you might be thinking what I am writing without a meaning...I am sure those who followed my mental health journey so far can relate and understand my words and development...
I didn't write because I didn't feel the urge to write. I was fully focused on my mental health treatment and finished one part of my treatment. I am sure the second part of my treatment will end soon, and I will be on my own again. I used to say often, I don't feel normal, I am not a normal person but then I realized what "normal" means to me. I had no answer. I used to feel bad sitting at home doing nothing except focusing on my treatment. But now I know that the effort I put into mental health treatment is showing results. I feel okay, I feel better, and that's what matters to me.
I haven't traveled or gone anywhere this year so far. Maybe during the holiday season, I will plan something. I finished my business course and have now finally joined a training program (unpaid) in a renowned company. I have been learning real estate strategies and procurement, and preparing myself for the Dutch job market.
Like I said, finally, I started thinking about my stability. A lot has happened since 2022, but all these years show my resilience...My struggle, my craziness, my healing journey, and finally a goal show that I have hope, and I can still think about stability in life. I recognized many things in this journey, I lost contact with many of my friends ( or atleast I used to consider them friends). I endured a lot of backlash and hate from my own people due to my mental illness, but now I can say nothing could stop me.
I know many people are still there who struggle but never ask for help. I even heard from some people that; there is nothing called psychological issues, it's all in the head, and I am making things up. There was a moment when I thought that I was losing myself between right and wrong. The fun fact is my own people never understood my struggle...I clearly remember that day, how everything all started, I cannot forget, but I don't let those moments overpower me. I started decluttering people from my life, relatives, and friends from childhood. Because I couldn't take the negativity...
Everyone is different, and everyone's struggle and healing journey is different. Some can heal by themselves, and some cannot. Like I said, it was the best wise decision I have taken, asking for help...Because of that help, I am becoming a better person every day...
Hopefully I will write again soon...
Love
Priyan...
I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thoughts easily...
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Keep on writing, it could be sometimes therapeutic... And from my point of view there are no "normal" people, we are all different and none of us are constant, we change during our life. We all have issues of one kind or another, I think I am the most stable person physically and mentally, but if I said I have zero mental issues, I would be lying... Everyone has something, that is normal. And it doesn't take much to knock over the most mentally stable person if the event hits precisely the weak spot.
So true, and that's why when my therapist asked me what the definition of being normal is to me, I had no proper answer. My reply was not solid, and the definition of being normal to me is based on my perspective. She said to me I expect too much from myself, and I have an ambition to touch the sky and push myself hard towards it...To be honest, these 2 years were actually a learning lesson for me, I learned so much, and I think it was necessary...
True, and it varies from person to person...
That's what happened to me, and that's why I collapsed 2 years ago...
I am so happy that you understood what I was trying to express. I thought my writing didn't express anything...
There’s a heaviness in this text… but at the same time, there’s hope and glimpses of something good and kind. Please keep writing — welcome back, and get well soon, even though I know it’s not easy.
I also want to tell you - welcome back, because I have seen you writing after a long time on Actifit...Things were heavy, and I had difficulties, so I am really happy that slowly I am overcoming my fear and problems...Writing is still difficult because I often end up writing depressing stuff...
Thank you! Yeah, tough times always find a way to remind us of themselves — so we’ve got to remind the world about us too, to balance those forces. ⚖️
So true...
So happy to hear this good news from you, Ms. Priyan... Ironically, our own people aren't the most helpful even if we're not asking for one. They tend to bring us down even more, to think that we thought they're the first to understand... I loved it when you said, you started decluttering people from your life. That is brave. That is self-care. Best wishes on your journey to complete recovery. 🌸🌸🌸
You can relate to my thoughts and read my mind...Well, at first it was very difficult to stay kinda isolated, but yes, my anti-social behavior kinda helped me. I felt so lonely, but then I told myself that there is no space for toxic people in my life. I have enough on my plate already, and I don't deserve such a society where people don't respect my boundaries...After a lot of thoughts and considerations, I reached the point where I said to myself, enough is enough...Society and people won't pay my bills...
So good to hear from you Priyan. I am glad that you are keeping busy and taking care of yourself. I am also glad you are sharing your struggles on here too. Thank you. Here is to much more healing ahead.
Hi Sara, it's lovely to hear from you. How are you doing? How's life...Well, I am trying my best to adjust to this country. At first, I thought I would have a chance to go back, but it didn't happen, and now I have decided to accept my present and plan for the near future for a stable life. I know this wish is big, but let's see...
Thank you for stopping by...
Did u already trying to workout?
I dont know about yours but when my anxiety disorder coming, i think it can reduced when i am doing workout especially gym and weight lifting since i need to focus to avoid injury. And all the anxiety distract kinda dissapear fully when focused. And reduced over time from body exhaustion.
But anyway cheer up mate.
Dont give up yet
!LOLZ !ALIVE
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Yes, I tried doing workout, but I don't enjoy it. Not only do I have anxiety issues, but I also have chronic depression, so somehow routine life or promising challenges don't work for me. I tried meditation, but I have a limit, so I do small exercises, but I do walk a lot. I enjoy walking, and that's why I walk and spend time outside whenever I can...I think anxiety works differently from person to person. For example, my sister has anxiety, and when she listens to music or cooks something, her anxiety disappears...I am glad workout works for you perfectly...
Thank you for stopping by...
I feel sorry for you
But really cheers up man
I believe you can surprass this.
You are stronger than u think
!ALIVE
No worries, man, I will be fine eventually...
I am very glad to see your post. Yeah, we came back to Ukraine and anytime my husband starts talks about moving again I say I am not ready to start from the beginning. I want continue my life here, settle it at the place where I am now. I don't want to discuss what can happen and different life scenarios according to the war. Life is going on, the war can last too long to wait for it to be finished. And we are planning our life as if we can do anything and choose exactly what we want to do in it. And do it now )
Still supportive connections are very important, especially in a new country. To keep progress, to live the life we like.
I am happy to hear that finally you are at home, that's the best feeling, no matter what. I can understand your husband's concern, of course, but mental peace and happiness matter the most. Adjusting to a new country, a new place, is difficult. I did migrate before, though, came to Ukraine from Bangladesh, but back then that decision was mine, and this time, the situation is different...I would suggest you follow your heart and do what is best for you and your family...We don't know when the war will end, like you said... So I wish you good health and safety...
Indeed...
You have no idea how happy I am reading this post. I've been thinking a lot about you, to contact you so we can speak and shame on me, I let my schedule stay in the way.
I don't know how much you remember of what we've talked about or have written bout, but you've done what I suggested and you're where I told you're going to be one day. Obviously this is not the finish line as the road is long, but you have made the necessary steps to get on the right road. I'm really proud of you to have had the strength and the courage to go through the tough times, the painful and frustrating sessions in order to get better. This is huge! I knew you could do it, and now you know it too. I'm really proud of you ❤️
There's one thing I'd like to ask you. Look back, walk yourself through the journey you've made and realize how strong you are. This experience is going to give you strength to fight whatever is coming your way. Now you know you're capable, you got out of the dark hole you've been in once and you can fight whatever life gives you! Never forget that! 🤗
... and we're going to have a chat, once I get home 😎
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Don't bother because I was also not online much. I am thinking of connecting with you personally so that it's easier to have a small chat if you are up for it. I have a lot to share with you...
Of course, I remembered everything, and I feel grateful every day about that specific day when you told me it's okay to ask for help. I was confused and reluctant because, somehow in my mind, I felt weak and was afraid of exposing my weakness. I also understand that my head was messy and everything seemed horrible to me. These 2 years were really painful, scary, and triggering. Trigger still occurs, but now I try to consider it my strength and stand against it...I developed a lot, and if you talk to me now, you will definitely know...😇
You know what? The same sentence I heard from my training mentor. She said my journey is my strength, not my weakness...I guess eventually I will take a walk on my memory lane...
Please let me know...
Putting this piece of your heart out there is not easy. It takes courage and self-confidence to share publicly what many keep to themselves out of embarrassment. You can't imagine how happy it makes me to read your words. You're doing it! I know how difficult these last two years have been, the pain you've been through, but you've been doing what you should: taking care of yourself. Of course you're not a “normal” person. You're special, very special. In the best possible way. So I encourage you to continue this journey that you didn't buy tickets for, but which is teaching you how powerful you are.
Write whenever you want and about whatever you want, this is your blog. Those of us who care about you will wait for your words and photographs for as long as it takes. The most important thing is that you are well. I send you a big hug. ❤️
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Thanks for the support!
Hi dear, it's been a while since we connected. Well, I was not so active on the front end, so yeah...Your soulful words always touched my heart, and you are one of the first who truly inspired me to take steps and trust the process. I had no faith in myself, no confidence, and everything was so dark that I couldn't see a glimpse of light. You always told me to take one step at a time. I remember it and often repeat it to myself like a mantra. I really don't take any credit for my writing because I always feel my writing about my life is so depressing. I am deeply grateful for your presence and encouragement, and I mean it...Even though I don't interact much, I remember everything and feel blessed that I have friends who care for me on Hive...
I will start writing eventually, I think, it's just a matter of time...
Thanks dear...♥️
Keep flowing as your heart guides you, you're doing well. You've travelled most of the road. I hope you don't need help again, but I'm still here if you need to vent. 😘
This exactly this , people don't understand it if you break your leg and it 's wrapped in bandage and plaster that they understand , but depression , bunr-out , sleeping disorder or anxiety they don't understand because they never had experience any of those things .
I've been out of a job since 2008 due to a Burn-out and all that comes with it ., since a couple of years i'm finally able to go outside again on my own and drive the car again. For me it took a lot of time to get there, don't rush it do it in your own pace is all i can say .
I heard about burnout and how difficult it is to deal with afterward. Like you said, mental health problems are not visible, so people never understand the stress level and pressure. I even heard from people saying to me that there is nothing called stress or anxiety. No one understands how depression, trauma can hamper the entire lifestyle...Physically, if you are fit and fine, your surroundings think you are doing well.
Going outside for me was challenging; I was very scared to travel by train or bus. I avoided crowded spaces often and kept myself isolated. I am still isolated, but I go out now and talk to people...I am glad you have finally been able to drive again and are going outside again... It's a long process, I know, so I am hanging in there...Thank you for reaching out...
it's like my shrink said i can show you the way but you have to take the steps , taking those steps to go outside and meet people has been hard , hang in there in the end it's worth it getting back on track .
I will definitely, and I know it's worth it...
Hello Assalamu Alaikum, my respected Sister ❤️. How are you? After a long time, I read your article in which you talked about your life. What are you thinking now? How is your health? How is your mental health? I read everything; it was very beautiful. I liked it very much. Now, whatever you write, you write very well. You write very originally ,only a humanbeing can feel it. May Allah grant you beautiful health. May you have a very beautiful life. Always laugh and smile ❤️. You are a very brave and pure dear sister .
do you know the day, but I still remember that day, three or four years ago, when I was worried because there was a token that I had bought and its price had fallen.and token got delisted and new exchanges listed but my country was not allow to join the exchange, Then I shared with you all my sadness,that time , You helped me. I sent them to you, you held them, then you sent them on the blockchain. Each process was complete, and you helped me a lot. you are great and a very good sister, i always pray for you, you are great ❤️ , I pray that you always stay healthy. Stability is coming in your life. Your health is improving. It was very good to read this. I have no words for how I can thank you. I have many prayers for you. Keep writing. Whatever you write now, write well. You write purely. May Allah give you a long life and a beautiful life. I have many prayers for you ❤️. May you always be happy and joyful. It was very beautiful to read your writing. ❤️
Walaikumassalam, bro, I am well. Life is going with the flow, and I don't put pressure on thinking about the future. I am on my healing journey, so I don't rush and push myself to achieve something great in life. I know eventually everything will be okay. I was diagnosed with cognitive dissonance and acute PTSD for the last 2 years, and now I am better...Things are much better than before, and I feel good about myself. Learned a lot and I am grateful for it, alhamdulillah...
Wow, bro, you remembered!!! I think it's more than 4 years...Because it was definitely before the war in Ukraine and I was in Ukraine...I thought you wouldn't remember it 🤣... I am glad that I could help back then, and you put trust in me with that fund...
Thank you bro, please keep me in your prayer... Means a lot...
well that was very positive !
you are so much stronger than you thought !...or maybe you forgot.
but there you are :) up and going 🩷
I am not sure how strong I am, but yes, I am hanging in there and still positive that everything will be okay one day...
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Wow, that's nice...
Yeah really good job @priyanarc!👍😀
I have never been so happy to see someonbecome more boring and uninteresting as they embrace the normal, the everyday and the mundane life!
You're an inspiration and should be receiving praise and gratitude for highlighting your journey.
Im looking forward to the day your posts start, "today I fed the dog, had a coffee, went to work, got home, watched TV and went to bed". 🤣🤣
You're always going to be a hero and superstar, Priya.
Best wishes on your continuing journey, my friend 😀
Hello Nathan, I was hoping for your feedback... Because my post's comment section feels empty without your comment. I truly appreciate your kind words toward me always, and it means a lot...
Oh if it is normal, I don't want to be normal because I cannot embrace boredom...🤣. I was always reckless...😂
Ah you remind me of Actifit, and a funny fact is I never count my steps...🤣 I should use the app for my health, and I am too lazy for it... I feel like my life is small, so I should eat, sleep more. Unhealthy food habit suits me more than being healthy...🤣 Just like you procrastinate garden work, I procrastinate a healthy lifestyle...🤣
I really want mind-reading, telekinesis superpower... 🤣 Will I achieve it???
Thank you so much my friend likewise...
You will never be 'normal' but in future, I hope it will be much more fun being reckless whislt being as carefree as you possibly can be!
I think you're probably quite an astute mindreader already. As for the telekenisis, it didnt work out so well for poor old Carrie!
Hope youre having the best week you can :-)
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Thank you!!
Thank you so much...
You are surely resilient and focus, healing is the crucial part of our lives as we most time get hurt at one point or the other of our lives. I salute your courage sir.
Thank you so much for your kind words, means a lot...
I'm so glad to hear you're making progress.
Everyone moves at their own pace. The great thing is that you set a goal or a wish. Having a goal makes life flow and gives meaning to your efforts.
My best wishes to you, and much encouragement.