#Monomad Challenge - to emerge

Good evening, #Monomad friends

Here is my entry for the #monomad contest by @brumest and @monochromes.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to rise up from the depths? Have you ever felt buried by thoughts, actions, or a lack of desire to simply do things... Either because you don't feel like it, or because you feel disconnected from everything around you, or simply because things don't always go as we expect.

Today, in a small comment I made on one of galenkp's posts, I found myself thinking about what I hadn't actually done over the last 3 to 4 weeks... I had let myself be carried away by this tide for a long time. I let the things of the world drag me along, and I let myself be carried away, with nothing to say, nothing to do, or even nothing to think about. It took only a few “steps” to get me to where I am today. I ended up connecting one dot to another... and when I realized it, I already had a series of events that held me back, that clouded my vision, that prevented me from giving my best, simply because I didn't have the courage to say no and act according to my will.

This weekend, I hope to refocus on my goal. I found myself eating unhealthily, in quantities I don't need, and largely in response to an emotional situation. It's been a long time since I've felt so adrift. I don't like it. But I didn't do anything to get back on track. On Monday, I had an appointment with my nutritionist, but I ended up canceling it due to another commitment. But I'm glad I canceled it, because my assessment would surely have been very poor... with this series of days of eating less healthily and missing the gym, which I used to go to religiously almost every day, without any real justification, I would certainly not have had a good assessment.

I hope that this week I can get back on track. It's not easy, I confess.

This Friday, at the end of my shift, I took these photos. I was thinking about how austere the interiors of buildings are, and how our desire to emerge from their intricate geometry and shadows into a fluid exterior is almost innate. Do you feel that way too? Do you feel that when you emerge outside, something inside you is liberated, and you feel greater?

Thank you for taking the time to read this little reflection for the weekend, which in a way has turned into a “prayer” for my prayers. I hope that it will indeed be guided by my hand, or by any hand, towards a more certain path... I hope so.