RE: Still struggling with Trauma, depression, and obsessive Thoughts - My mental health
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The vast majority of 'doctors' and therapists have not done the necessary deep self healing to be able to understand themselves and thus cannot help people in the best ways.
I highly advise reading the book called 'feelings matter' by ceanne de rohan for an introduction on the mechanism to understand sub and unconscious emotional injuries, she is a unique and mostly unknown author. I have used the approach she is sharing to heal my own spinal misalignment following a near fatal car crash.
I can explain all the details but it takes hours to get through. In summary, we mentally control our emotions and suppress/deny their expression. As a result we lose consciousness, energy, will and understanding of our present state and our history. This leads to mental and physical injuries over time. There are ways to reverse this which are very specific.
Self acceptance is key. Ending denial is key. Being able to move the body and make sounds (safely and privately) in order to get the emotions vibrating and moving is key to open space for change.
When it comes to 'negative thinking' etc. - it helps to understand that generally we are always trying to come to balance and to heal and that actually there is a helpful intention within the thoughts. One pattern I know in myself is that if I am having nightmares and 'negative' thoughts, then it is likely that they stem from a survival process inside of me that is attempting to keep me safe by informing me and simulating the things I am frightened by, in order to better prepare me. This works ok in dream states where you can 'face your fears' and calm down. However, if you have been overwhelmed, perhaps by trauma - then you can reach your capacity and this self protection system becomes a problem of it's own. The more we know ourselves and are compassionate, neutral and un judging - we can start to feel more peace and realign towards balance/health.
May we all heal, balance and evolve. <3
I also think similarly because human psychology is very hard to understand and if someone has a past psychosis record with treatment and then later, due to circumstances, that psychosis issue returns once again, it is hard to do proper treatment.
Does she have any podcasts or videos?? Because unfortunately, I cannot read right now, reading creates anxiety and pressure on me. But I can try...
This is something I am struggling with, I cannot accept myself anymore...
I guess what I am feeling, and experiencing is part of my trauma, and my body, and brain are still alert to danger and on a survival period. The experiences I have gathered in life and war all together mixed up and created a dark hole inside me where I am now. I am lost and because of overthinking, I lose control. My imagination and hallucinations are intense, I had nightmares but now, I hallucinate often in the daytime.
Thank you so much for such a helpful comment, I really hope these words will stay in my mind when I am in a vulnerable position...
You are welcome. One key understanding that is being heavily denied by many thinkers with regards to healing is that our own feelings are a message that allows us to feel and understand much deeper into our own self, layers and nature than is possible through talking, thinking or in any other way. Our feelings, mind and body are not our opponent - they need to be understood.
Feeling is obviously a very personal experience and is not something that can easily be measured or assisted by others. Partially due to this and for other reasons, the prevailing thinking on healing trauma (with a few exceptions) tends to skirt around the issue, trying instead to prevent surface symptoms. If you remember the childrens' story of the princes and pea - it didn't matter how many layers of mattresses were put on top of the pea, it could still be felt and prevented her from sleeping. Similarly, no amount of shopping, drugs, partying or 99.9% of other things people do to try to feel better will heal trauma when there are very specific causes to the trauma that need to be healed in specific ways. Healing on all levels can be achieved, it is not too difficult, but does require courage and focus.
It is up to each of us to find the courage (couer in French means 'heart') to learn to increase self love/care, to listen carefully and inwardly, to find out and understand what we really need. I can guarantee you that all forms of 'stuck' trauma that manifest as psychological, emotional and physical symptoms have a component of denied emotions.
When we feel that survival is threatened and are not empowered to respond in a decisive way to quickly create safety again, we are likely to start believing ideas that don't feel good and that generate fear. When we have fear we will probably have anger that sits on top of it to protect us from what we are afraid of. In most cases, people are conditioned to repress the fear and anger instead of accepting it, listening, feeling and expressing it (safely). The ending of past/present denials and the allowance of expression of stuck emotion is the main tool for bringing balance in people now. Along with the emotional expression, we need to also learn how to release judgements in order to free up perception and mental processes so that real truth can be found.
Many people are still judging that judgement is necessary - they will not find out how stuck they are until they end that habit. Judgements have a limited form that keeps energy held in a stuck way. For example 'Dogs are scary' is a judgement, whereas the truth is that you once saw a dog and it snarled and you got scared. If a person holds the judgement that 'dogs are scary' forever, then they will always feel fear when encountering dogs. On the other hand, if they are more accurate in their definition, then they are more free to feel calm and to be open to learn more.
There is no audiobook of the books I am talking about unfortunately and the author is very private, she doesn't do podcasts. There are no bar codes on the books and no advertising. This is done for specific security reasons which are long to explain and are best understood from reading the books. I can send you a pdf if you like and you could have your computing device read it to you, that's perhaps the best we can do here. Just email me at [email protected]. <3