I Am #AliveAndThriving Today! || #IAmAliveChallenge || Daily Off-Grid Jungle Journal Entry: Day #566 - A Session Today, and Thoughts on Healing and Healers - GaiaYoga Gardens, Lower Puna, Far East Big Island, Hawai'i - Wednesday, February 14, 2024

I live naked and barefooted, very close to Earth and Nature, in an 18-acre, off-grid, clothing-optional, food-forest intentional community (GaiaYoga Gardens), way out in the jungles of Lower Puna, far East Big Island, Hawai'i, and I have for more than 5 years now. Although there are many challenges, I love my life, and I'm immensely grateful to live where and how I do, on my own terms! I would not want to live any other way! 😁🙏💚⚡💥🔥✴️✳️❇️👣🌱✨🤙

Warm greetings all! 😁🙏💚✨🤙

I'll be giving a session this afternoon, as I mentioned in my post before last, to a young woman, Amelia, with whom I've worked several times in the past, and who also used to live here at GaiaYoga a few years ago. Since she left GYG, she returns periodically to get sessions from me, and sometimes just to hang out naked (she always appreciated it as much as I did), and interview me on the subject of nakedness and living naked. Since I've already given her several sessions, and because we know and trust each other, I feel very relaxed and easeful about the session with her today.

I've talked about the contradiction between assisting women to heal, and to feel good in their bodies and their beings, in my sessions (deep, integral, energy-body-tantric work), often in quite intimate and vulnerable ways, and at the same time being in such a broken-hearted state myself where I have no close connections or relationships with women at all for the most part. Yes, there are friendships, and many women that say that they love me, but no connection is really all that close. This disparity between doing healing work, and yet needing notable healing myself, seems to be quite common among healers, as a Hive friend pointed out yesterday in my post from the other day. I've also noticed this myself in my many years of interacting and working with all sorts of healers. The medicine that they give is the medicine that they need. That we need. That I need.

Over several years, as I gave sessions to a great many women, it became very obvious to me (and others) that my greatest gift with women was also my greatest wound or curse. This does seem to be an accurate assessment, as it's held true across decades. The heartbreak that I'm attempting to heal now is part of a much greater and deeper pain, that has been with me, to a lesser or greater degree, all my life. In that sense, I'm not sure if it can be fully healed. I'm reasonably sure that I can at least come to a place that feels a bit better, and is somewhat more fulfilling with women, than were I am now.

Accepting, appreciating, trusting, and loving myself, without the mirror of a female companion, seems to be the crux of the lesson in my life now, and man is this not an easy one for a goddess worshiper like me! I have to get my relationship with myself solid, and to find fulfillment inside myself and in my own life, regardless of whether I am in a intimate relationship with a woman, or whether I am alone and solitary the rest of my life. This is far easier said than done.

Yesterday, Wednesday, I left the Flow House just after 2:45PM, after finishing my afternoon round of essential Hive tasks. As I've gotten into the habit of doing over the past several days, I strained out kefir for my kefir-honey-cinnamon-cacao blend early again, right after leaving the Flow House. Ano asked if I could help unload a truckload of mulch, which I did. I worked for a good while by myself, and then Ano and Toad came to help. I got a lot done before they arrived, and after they got there we got it done quickly. After finishing unloading the mulch, I helped Ano and Toad clean around and move assorted items from the Fuschia Phoenix, after the completion of its rebuild. Once that was done, I devoted a little time go helping Ano debark a few Melochia logs, that I had brought to the shop from the previous week's cow-food collection.

Upon finishing work for the day, I took a shower, grabbed my leftover food from the Landing Fridge, then I headed back to the Flow House for my evening round of Hive tasks and catching up on notifications. Several people had a fire down on the Peanut Lawn, which I knew was being planned. Iolanthe, Ano and Melekai's 11-year-old daughter, came up to the Flow House to invite me to come to be a part of it. I declined. My heart's broken, plus I had my Hive tasks to complete. I don't really know how to incorporate spending time with people again into my daily routine, of which what I do on Hive is a very significant part. I finished everything on Hive just after 9PM, I did a round of token management, then I went to bed, listening to one of my neural resonance/psycho-acoustic/brainwave hemispheric synchronization audio tracks, so I would not be distracted by people having fun at the fire (I could easily hear them laughing and singing). I slept well, waking up around 6:30AM, doing a round of token management, getting this post ready to write, completing @benthomaswwd's @heartbeatonhive contest, then getting out of bed just after 8:30AM to go make my superfood fire coffee, and to take photos for tomorrow's iteration of this post.

It's now just past 11AM, so a marvelous time to end this post so that I can get to a few important Hive tasks done before Amelia arrives for her session. I deeply appreciate you all so very much! Forward, onward, and upward, joyfully together! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙

2024 Life Goals

1.) Heal my broken heart. 

2.) Bring myself and my life back into balance, integration, and wholeness, and do regular integral practices. 

3.) Make my plant nursery beautiful again. 

4.) Prepare regular batches of my medicinal teas collected from the land again. 

5.) Continue my work with Arch Linux, Hive, Qortal, DeSo, Bastyon, and other sovereignty-driven technologies, as well as learn relevant coding/programming languages to more fully contribute. 

6.) Get regular healing sessions with women flowing again. 

All photos were taken with my Motorola G Power Android Phone.

Thank you all so much who have helped me get to where I am today, and allowing me to share more of the beauty and magic from my life and my world with you, and for your continuous appreciation and support! I am truly deeply grateful! 😁🙏💚✨🤙

If you'd like to find me on other alternative platforms where I have accounts (I spend most of my time here on Hive), click on this signature image below to go to my LinkTree page.

If you'd like to send me a BTC Lighting Tip (made possible by the fantastic work of brianoflondon on @v4vapp), just scan the QR image below. 👇

Signature image created by @doze, and the dividers made by @thepeakstudio, with all tweaked to their present form by me.