Upgrading Maturity

It was watershed moment for Smallsteps today. Because it was the day where we cleaned her room in preparation for her to become a "big girl" - putting away the baby toys, cleaning out drawers in preparation for her new school, and generally going through every box, draw and cupboard in her room, to extricate all the random notes and bits of cut up paper and card, and pencil shavings and pens and markers that don't work, thread and wool, and half-finished crochet - and a million random little bits and pieces that just had no need to be there.


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It took some time.

But it was family time together, since all three of us worked in the room, pulling out stuff, going through, and separating it into piles. For the most part, it went quite smoothly, though Smallsteps was a little worried we were getting rid of too much. She went through her soft toys, listed them all and wrote their names in her diary, so that she can remember for later. But in the end, two-thirds of them will go into storage. To the disappointment of my wife, some of the ones being packed up, are the soft toys from when Smallsteps was a baby.

Maturing is hard on the parents too.

None of this stuff (other than the four billion scraps of cut paper) will go into the bin, as it will either be passed on to family who might be expecting in the nearish future, or handed over to charity to bring joy to other children. Some of it will also go back to the original owners, who leant it to us, but will want it for their grandkids and the like. Smallsteps is very good with looking after her things and pretty much everything she owns is in good condition.

While it was nice family time cleaning the room, it got me thinking back to when I was her age and how I don't remember my parents ever helping me clean my room. I am pretty sure that from a young age, I was on my own. By that age, I was also doing my own laundry and often preparing my meals. Yes, that was likely not that normal at the time and maybe inappropriate, but it was normal for me.

I think my parents missed out on a lot.

People mostly talk about all the things that are missed by having children, but I think that a massive amount is missed by not having children. Also, a lot is missed by parents who choose to do other things instead of spending time with their kids, doing the "boring stuff" like cleaning a room. It is the same with parents who don't sit and play with their kids on the floor, or board games. Or those that put a screen in front of their children's face at a café or restaurant.

They are missing out.

But sure, there are better things that could have been done today than cleaning a room, but there was an ulterior motive for it too. Because as an early birthday present for Smallsteps, we have bought her a new bed. A proper bed. It is larger, higher and will be good enough to stay with her for years to come. The only reason we are doing it now and instead of on her birthday, is that we caught it on sale at 70% off, and it had to be delivered soonish.

I think she is going to love it.

We are all meant to grow up sometime. But if we can never let go of what we have from the past, how are we meant to build anything new for the future? Maybe that should be explored at another time than this article.

Taraz
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23 comments
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My wife is really good at keeping house clean and un-clattered. She regularly goes over our daughter's room and donates toys and clothes. Sometimes a bit too much as our daughter later wishes that some of the things that were donated would be still around.

Having kids add a lot of meaning to our life, it makes it more lively and rewarding. Though sometimes it is really hard... Kids do require a lot of time, effort and resources...

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Sometimes a bit too much as our daughter later wishes that some of the things that were donated would be still around.

I think that this is also part of maturing. We have to learn how to go without, or miss things also.

Though sometimes it is really hard... Kids do require a lot of time, effort and resources...

Yeah they do. But I also wonder, what the people without kids would spend the money on. Most don't seem to invest it. So are they just going to waste it on other crap?

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Money will get spent no question about that, at least when you have kids we spend the money to give them a better chance at a great future. To equip them for life with skills that are needed to succeed.

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Many seem to go out and buy the latest phones and gadgets to complain about the cost of living on instead. :D

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It can be quite hard on a little girl to let go of things that she's had since she was a baby. Hope she didn't feel to down afterwards.

To this date, I still miss my toy suitcase I had when I was a kid. I used it to store my dolls clothes. Whenever I close my eyes I can still see it. I wish still have it

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Hope she didn't feel to down afterwards.

She feels pretty good about it, at the moment at least. I think she will feel pretty good about it and we aren't getting rid of any of her loved toys. They will be put in storage. I wonder if she will ask for them in the near future?

I wish still have it

There are a few things from my childhood too. But I have nothing at all - except for one toy dog I gave to Smallsteps.

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You're absolutely right. I respect people who decide not to have children for various reasons, but they miss out on many wonderful things as parents. Greetings. I hope this decision helps your child a lot; it's a big step in helping them mature.

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I am sure childless people have different experiences too, but I do wonder if they are of the same quality of life value.

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I can't tell you from my own experience. But what I do know is that I've met many people who decided not to have children and were the happiest people when they were young. But in old age, it's hard to be happy alone. I'm blessed to have my children, and I'm very happy about that.

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I've had this experience, helping a friend (who recently had surgery) get rid of the "baby bed", replace it with a larger bed, put together a "big girl wardrobe" (Ikea) - and bring in a study table / reading nook, etc.

The little one (though she's nearly six foot as a teenager, definitely taking after my friend - he's a mammoth!) - had clear, tender moments with her dad during the process - but there were objects and items that she definitely didn't want gone.

It was a communal experience, and given my friend couldn't move the furniture, and it needed to be done, we were the village.

The other day, that very same daughter of my friend invited us all for a dinner as part of her school holiday activities.

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A connubial experience. I think that is a good way to describe it. Also, getting the invite for a dinner is also part of that community, isn't it?

The less we interact with each other, the more brittle community/society becomes. We need those shared experiences to grow.

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I think that your method of keeping the cherished toys instead of throwing them away is really admirable, as it honors her emotions while helping her transition into this new stage of life ;)

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Yeah I think it is also spite trial lesson for what she needs ad does t to have a good time. Often, we hold onto things, even if we don't need to.

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Not an easy task, but a necessary one all the same. It's nice that you all did it together and made it seem special.

I can invision this being particularly difficult with my six year old son who is very connected to his teddies 🧸

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If we did the same at 6, it would have been difficult. Almost 9 is natural progress age perhaps. Next will be the teen years .. now that is going to be difficult!

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Oh God yes!!! Prepare to be disowned for 4 or 5 years and lots and lots of eye rolls!

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My wife and I have a room in our basement that we call the office (or the junk room, depends on the day). She took it upon herself to start cleaning that room the other day when I was busy doing something else in town. It always makes me a little nervous when she does that because she tends to just throw stuff away without checking with me first. So what I am saying is, it is nice that you were able to do that together as a family! :)

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how very true.. we all must grow up some time, and discard the old.. make way for new things and new adventures. 😉🙂👍

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