Fear - non - stop - overwhelm

How stupid can I get? It would appear there's no bottom. It's incredibly difficult to have no one. Absolutely no one to confide in. No one to tell what's really going on. No one loves you. Cares for you. No thing to look forward to. Yes. I'm a miserable idiot and just gets worse inside and outside every fucking day. I'm afraid and I can't tell anyone why. I need some fucking space. A safe place where I can walk outside without constant fear. This place is insane.