A green leaf turned into a dry leaf | Life story

This is not a lookbook. I thought a lot before writing this post. I have been dealing with PTSD and depression for a month and those who follow my post regularly, already know. Treatment is ongoing and medication started already. Last year when the war breakout, since then I was not been the same. I was having a hard time adjusting and adapting to the situation. The result is a mental breakdown and PTSD. I wish I could explain how intense psychotherapy can be. I only feel emptiness, I have nothing left.

I cannot take pictures, it's very difficult for me. Even I cannot do simple daily necessary things due to my depression. I manage to write but cannot do it often because I feel tired. Happiness is far away from me. A big void has been created inside me which seems unfulfillable. Even now what I am writing I don't know.

There is a big difference between me and these photos. These photos are memory, the real me is now currently fighting with illness. My doctor said I live in my past and that's why depression happened. But I think I lost the confidence and motivation of living life. I feel stuck, and blocked and a part of me is completely shut down from the world.

I guess war was not enough for me that's why now I have PTSD and depression. Looks like my punishment is not over yet. Sleeping pills and anti-depression medicines kill me every day but obviously, they are necessary. Without them, I feel vulgar and become uncontrollable...

My glamorous life is gone, normal life doesn't exist and now I am fighting with my health and recovery. Sometimes it feels like I never gonna be better.

What is the point of living this miserable life!! I don't know...

These photos are just a beautiful memory...

Regards,

Priyan

Thanks, everyone...

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Photo Location: Kharkiv Oblast, Ukraine

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