It's been 347 days since I left my home and my city due to the war where all of my dreams belonged

Do I have any story to tell!!! I wonder... Do anyone interested in reading my stories!! Maybe I sometimes sound pathetic, maybe my story often expresses I am a needy person which obviously I am not. I had to face the toughest time in my life. One year ago, my life was like you, simple and happy, and then all of a sudden my whole world turned into ups and down. Sometimes I blame myself, for why I don't know. I feel pathetic when people consider me a needy and greedy person. After what I have seen in life and experienced, I wonder how I am mentally stable still.

A massive attack happened in Kharkiv yesterday, Sunday, and a residential building and a university completely destroyed. It seems like a new wave of attack is coming and in my opinion, I might see the repetition again of the last year 24th February 2022. This war news breaks my heart and all I can do is show mourning and griefing. People are helpless, dying because they decided to stay and fight. Some didn't want to leave their homeland. I can feel the pain of leaving home. The educational institute that got hit by the missile was one of the universities where I had to take one course. I know the location, building, and all the details. I was shocked when the saw the images of the destruction, I was kinda speechless. What else to say; What should I can say because this is a war that seems never-ending...

My plan was to write a weekend post where I wanted to share my Sunday activities but I believe that can wait because I am not in such a mindset where I can share my activities and lifestyle with people.

Here in Almere, yesterday the weather was so nice, the city was safe where my second home Kharkiv was burning. It feels so surreal and strange thinking about where I am today and where I was 1 year ago. The entire journey still seems unreal and unbelievable.

People in my shelter sometimes behave so strangely. Obviously, each of the refugees from Ukraine is going through a lot, and some of them are already fallen into depression. Some started doing drugs and some try to commit suicide. I am mentally stable and I didn't reach that point mentally where I could try to commit suicide. Every day something happens in my shelter. It scares me sometimes to think nowhere is safe.

Gigi's friend Juja is severely sick. Juja is a 10 years old Pit Bull Terrier who lived her whole life in Ukraine. She gave birth to a lot of babies and now she was in her retirement mood. Ukraine war had started and she had to flee with her owner and ended up living in the Netherlands, Almere. But this huge transition she couldn't take properly. Juja is a very well-trained, calm, and lovely dog who used to wag her tail whenever I and Gigi went to her. Gigi normally doesn't like to socialize with any dog but with Juja, she had found her play partner.

For the past 4 days, Juja has been suffering from a serious stomach infection and she couldn't eat anything. In front of me the healthy Juja has become so weak and sick, she couldn't even walk properly. Today was her operation and the vet said her survival chance is 50-50. I believe her operation has already been done and now she is under a vet's care. They said they will observe Juja's condition for 24 hours. Juja's mother (owner) was crying and was explaining everything to me that what exactly happened to Juja. I was silent and I couldn't do anything except saying her to stay strong. By the way, Juja is also from Eastern Ukraine.

Mentally I am okay, went out for a walk with Gigi. Seeing Gigi happy made me calm down a bit though I felt that my stress level is high. I don't know what happened with my summer village house, my apartment. I have no idea whether someone broke into my apartment or not, it's been one year since I left my house with nothing. I left everything behind and fled from the war to survive. When thousands of people were crossing the border, I was one of them. I still can't believe I traveled all alone with my dog and came to an unknown country just to survive, to stay safe.

If I stayed in Kharkiv, probably I had to spend my whole life living in the dark basement or probably I would have committed suicide due to fear and depression.

Thanks for reading... See you soon...

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Love

Priyan...

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^{I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thought easily...}

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All images used are captured by the author...