I wish I could say "New Year, New Me"

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Finally day-off, a relaxing day in life. I love to enjoy my off days though sometimes it's impossible due to life situations. But no matter what, I try my best to relax during my off days. If it is a weekend then it is a bonus because I usually don't get weekends off. 2023 has already arrived; I wish I could say "new year new me", everything in my life changed so much but as a person, I haven't changed much by myself. I am still the same, I don't understand why people say that always.

It's been around one year almost I left my home, can't believe how time flew. Many people nowadays thinking to settle down in the Netherlands, while others are still waiting to return to their home in Ukraine. Some are getting their own places from the government to live. I wonder if I would ever get a place for myself. My stay in the Netherlands is becoming long-term, every day I think I have to move on. But where to go or what to do I don't even know. Sometimes I feel pressured to think about what is next, what to do next, and what will happen tomorrow.

I am just doing something to live life, to survive but this is obviously not for the long term. Long-term planning cannot be like that. Like others, I was also waiting to return home but now I feel I have to stay here longer. Nobody can't say when the war will be officially stopped and peace will arrive finally. Instead of thinking about only surviving, I need to come back to reality and have to start thinking logically. My life can't be like this forever.


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While writing this post, I heard a knock on my door. When I opened the door, 7 kids started singing Ukrainian Xmas Carol. I was expecting them around 7 till 10th January but they came late. These kids are also from Ukraine and living here with us for a long time. I gave them chocolates and some cookies to make them happy. I don't know whether they were happy or not but I was happy seeing them together while singing the carol. I can't explain how I was feeling.

I saw before that some of them cry because they miss their father. I was speechless and hadn't any words to remove their pain. Adults like me can survive anywhere but the kids, changes are very hard for them to accept. I still couldn't accept my reality so far, I only can imagine how difficult it is for the kids who not only lost their childhood but stay away from home and their parents.

I know this kind of writing can be boring, nobody like to read such kinds of life stories. I wish I could show you the reality and the result of this war. As I said, adults can easily survive anywhere ...

I also feel sad when I see old people, this life for them is like a prison. They wanted a relaxing life after retirement but now living in a new culture is like a hell for them. I can do a job, and go somewhere so easily but some old people can't even go outside of their rooms due to sickness. But yes, to stay alive, they are here. Some old people became "Nannies", their job is now looking after the kids and playing with the kids. I see a lot of people every day. Here, in this shelter, a small community has been built. Not everyone is friendly and willing to help but most of them help each other.


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Nothing significant has changed after 2022 after the new year; except my stress level increased because of future thoughts. I am still in dilemma about my contract; whether I am going to continue as a part-time worker or full-time worker. I don't want to be unemployed that's why I am keeping myself happy with the minimum wage job. The good thing is money is coming and I don't need to worry about monthly expenses. As I have said this is not for the long term, I need to find something better. I thought about taking free courses or something to increase my skill level but I don't know yet. It seems like the architecture profession is far away from me and I think I have to sacrifice my dream job and career.


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I want to end this post by talking about my dog Gigi. I wrote before that Gigi learned some new things by herself. Lately, she comes to me for sleeping or when she wants me to scratch her belly. She plays with her toys and but with me, she plays with my sweater or whatever I wear. Her favorite thing is now playing with my clothes when I am not around especially dirty clothes. Today due to the fire alarm, the lift was not working and I had to take the stairs with Gigi to go outside with her.

She was feeling so stressed that she constantly pulled me and at one point, I almost fell down the stairs. Glad I didn't get hurt. Gigi also doesn't like any kind of alarm sound or firecracker sound, she feels panicked and stressed. Even sometimes when she finds something suspicious, she pulls her leash a lot. Lately, she started chasing rats and small dogs. I need to do some shopping for her; will do that next month. At night nowadays, she sleeps on my chest and I don't know from where she has learned that. It is cute though but at night, she seizes the whole bed acting like this bed is owned by her.

Life goes on and I am just following the flow of life...

Thanks for reading... See you soon...


Love

Priyan...


I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thought easily...


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All images used are captured by the author...

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21 comments
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It is good to think logically, among my people it is said that it is 'thinking with a cool head', I share your vision that this is necessary to plan realistically.

About the duration of the war, I really think you're right, nobody knows when it will end, and after it ends, it's time for reconstruction and that doesn't have a defined time either.

Thinking about children, when I was young I worked as a volunteer in poor areas and observed that children were the most malleable people one can imagine in terms of being happy with what they have in the present, true that each hard experience left them wounds and scars to these children, but their ability to laugh again, to enjoy a chocolate or candy, to play with their friends without major worries, all this showed me that they were very adaptable. Maybe it was because they weren't looking at things long term, or maybe it was because they were simply living in the present as best they could.

It is good that the community is mostly supportive, it would be much more unpleasant and problematic if the majority did not collaborate with each other.

Thinking of older people, their situation really seems hard to me, I can't even imagine how they feel inside. I can only hope that taking care of the children will help to give them a sense of usefulness and fill their time.

I understand Gigi's dislike for loud alarms, the pets in my house do something similar, and in fact I'm not good with scandals either, I dislike them, and they stress me out a bit.

Thinking about work, it is hard to have to postpone the career that one has studied and to which one dedicated oneself, but it is time to reflect on whether to take any employment option, even if it implies a change in what we wanted, in order to manage to move on. Being optimistic, maybe in the future you will get the opportunity to return to practice your own profession.

Stay !ALIVE
!LOLZ !GIF !MEME
!LUV
!PGM

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Thank you for the excellent overview and for understanding my view. After so many rejections, I decided to grab the nearest opportunity which I am offered instead of waiting for the better opportunity. Europe life is expensive besides probably soon we will move to another place. The government might move us soon.

I see people every day and it gave me a lot of life lessons. Despite of misery in my life, I still feel grateful for all of the opportunities that this life has offered. Probably not what I expected in life but still this is something.

Kids' mind is pure and I hope eventually they will forget the scar of the war...

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I can say from the children I met in person, some of whom were victims of violent homes, others who were children of people displaced by the armed conflict in our neighboring country, and others who survived a 1999 natural disaster that killed their relatives, destroyed the entire place where they lived and left them isolated for days until rescuers arrived. From all these children, I learned that the injuries they had and the physical and emotional scars that these experiences generated were things that would accompany them for life. . Even so, the good thing was that therapists were able to get help, and they gave all the help they could. I can only hope that things improve over the years and that they manage to be happy, although I lost contact with many people from decades ago.

The move thing does leave me thinking, in any case, I think that if it is better that you take the current opportunity and have at least an action plan to live in that new country, even better if you can consider (as a precaution) one or more plans alternatives, even if they are only in the field of ideas to be developed in case of emergency.

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(Edited)

I do not get bored reading your stories because I understand perfectly what you feel, we come from countries that although we do not live the same there are many similarities, I live a chaos in a way you live it in another, I do not have my family next door, all emigrate, but at least I have my husband, daughter and kitten, the economic, political, services, health and social situation is worsening by leaps and bounds. But I didn't come to talk about me, it ruins my heart to read you, about the children, the elderly, what you live daily. Thank God you have Gigi with you, she is your faithful companion. But let's have hope, happiness will come for us, I don't want to lose faith, neither do you. I would have so much to write and tell you but I would never finish. You know my daughter is studying architecture, hopefully she will be able to practice it someday when she finishes her career and you too. Infinite blessings to you, take care of yourself. Hugs... @priyanarc 💕

!LADY

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I know about your country's situation in fact lately one of my coworkers was talking about it. When I think about my past life, I feel hopeful and try to move forward because bad days never gonna stay longer. I sometimes consider my current situation as a bad dream. Our life is complicated but as you have said, we don't lose our hope. We know we have to move forward and sooner or later, we will see bright days and will reach our destination...

Have a great weekend dear...

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It is absolutely not boring to read other people's thoughts, sensations and feelings; I think instead it's beautiful and it's something I respect because I don't think it's easy to expose ourselves and confide what goes on in our heads.

I hope 2023 brings good and beautiful things, I really don't know what to expect but I prefer to keep myself optimistic and positive... what's to come will take me.

You are a beautiful person, I really wish you the best and that your plans come true.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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Thank you so much. Writing gives me satisfaction and the thoughts I can't share in person, I share them by writing. Life sometimes plays with us and forces us to face challenges. I won't say my situation is the worst because I have seen others' misery too.

I am hoping for a safe life for myself in the future. Thank you so much once again and have a nice weekend...

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Good weekend to you too.

What you say is beautiful and I like it, don't think that some of your words and certain thoughts of yours are taken for granted... if the world thought the same way it would perhaps have a better direction.

A hug!

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I have no way of expressing it better, because of the situation. I will only tell you that I hope your situation improves, and you can stabilize your days. It is not boring to read you, I am sure that the people who see you want to know how you are and are interested in your well-being. Even if they are not close.
Take care, I wish you the best possible.

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