A Night for the Departed, and for Us Who Remember

It's amazing that, as a species, we have all found ways to celebrate the dead. It's one of those things that some cultures find primitive or backwards, in the sense that there really is no point in celebrating the dead or spending time at the cemetery where the dead should be left in peace.

Growing up, I remember "Undas" or All Souls' Day used to have some leisurely games or gambling and drinking while spending time with our departed loved ones at the cemetery overnight. Mostly to keep us awake, but somehow it invited some risks as people started bringing weapons and taking the gambling part seriously, turning it into a livelihood instead of just a leisure activity to stay awake.

Now, cemeteries are well-guarded by the police. Bags are checked for weapons, alcoholic drinks, and playing cards. Some would build a tent and "camp out" in their loved ones' grave, play scrabble over night, sleep or watch movies in their mobile phones. And don't forget the food!

Sometimes I ask myself what we're really here for. As morbid as it may sound, I know for a fact that six feet beneath me, my loved ones are no longer "there". But I can't help but think, what if this is some sort of feast where they get to visit us for a while and join in as we visit their graves?

I can't help but imagine their excitement, having this once-a-year pass to see their loved ones visit them, go through all these efforts to honor their memory, to remind them that they are remembered. It's comforting to think that my love for them is somehow received.

Is it, really? A part of me is asking at this moment. Are they really here?

Whenever I see people lined up, walking behind a hearse, sending their departed loved one to their final resting place, I always whisper, "Ah, daghan man ga pangga" (Wow, many people love you). It pulls at my heartstrings, seeing how we grieve and put effort into expressing love to those who can no longer express it back. Believing that love is eternal gives us comfort.

Undas is a unique experience on its own. If you've never been to one, it's never a scary night at the cemetery. There is food, laughter, vendors, and families gathering at neighboring graves, all spending time with their loved ones, just being there. Weird for some, maybe, but how beautiful could that be? Believing that they're still with us?

My mother loved Lanzones (Langsat fruit) and we placed some on her grave

This is "pausok" or "paaso" where you briefly get yourself smoked (same way as how spell/charm items are smoked) to get "washed off" to keep some lost souls from following you home