Flexing New Muscles

Well, it happened. I finished my draft a couple of days ago, and it's been a little surreal since. Coming back to earth is peculiar, as it's not this earth my story takes place in. I've imposed on myself a break, which means doing all the things I was too busy for while still writing the manuscript.

Which means flexing new muscles, and that's something I am loving.

Recording? Me? Audio stuff?

I've been told I have a good voice. Very appealing. I'll take people at their word. See, I'm currently thinking of different ways to promote the first book once it does come out, and one of the things I've decided I wanna do is record some stuff. Reading bits for social media and YouTube and all that. And as my brother was kind enough to loan me his brand new microphone, I figured that was my sign to roll with it.

Except.

I did this a bit a few years ago, and grew discouraged. Lost the will to follow through.

I thought about this last year, but mic prices put me off, as did my knowing virtually zero about audio editing. That falls into the box of "things I don't know". And more often than I'd like, I'd leave that box closed. It was also my brother showed me how to do some basic stuff, and what Audacity is and all that, which bolstered me to get behind the microphone.

I spent much of yesterday recording snippets, story bits, and such. I kept my headphones on, as not to hear myself and get all self-conscious. And I'm glad I did it. The more I read, the more I loosened up, 'till I was doing voices, and not playing cute (which is my go-to if I've gotta record something).

It made me feel strong. It made me feel like I could do this. Like this was another aspect of my future I could take control of. And it fucking rocks.

Wait 'till I get to video editing.

Obviously, this is gonna involve some video editing skills. Again, credit where it's due. Thing is, I never lacked people offering to do it for me, but I can't feel okay with that. If I needed one short clip done, I'd probably ask someone's help, and that'd be that. But I want more, and more importantly, I want to know how to do it for myself.

There's strength there, and it's worth embracing, I reckon. Besides, I don't like the impulse in myself to put things in the "I don't know how to do this" box.

I'm more of a person who goes, okay, then how the fuck do you do it? It may take an hour, it may take ten, and it probably won't be Oscar-winning. It probably wouldn't get a more techy person (aka a pro) to even blink. But it matters to me because it was something I didn't know how to do before.

I didn't know how to do robot voices. Now I kinda do. Video editing, that's today, so we'll see, but I got high hopes.

You've got images in your head.

But now, I got them on paper, too. Same again, you see. Drawing. Sketching. Art in general. Not for me. Not something I would ever be great that. But as I kept slipping down that mentality, my box of things I like to do got pretty damn small. So a while back, I figured screw this, and got myself some black paper I'd been thinking about, and some pens. So now, when I wanna bust out of my thinky mind, I draw.

It's therapeutic in a way writing never is. It's harder for me, that's for sure. I gotta constantly check myself, to make sure I'm nor arsing it. But that's good, too. Because by the time I'm done, I'm left with this surprised, happy tingling. I did this. Huh. I didn't think I could.

And that's a high.

Snapping at things, not at people.

That's only about half a joke. Photography was never a part of how I saw myself. Which is to say I've always loved taking photos, but never considered it as something I might get better at. Taking pictures was kinda bittersweet, especially when it came to sharing them. I kept thinking others would say well, don't you think you're all that?

Now, I don't care, and that's freed me up something awful, too. So when I get a bit of downtime, like this, I'm taking pictures of things, and of people, while trying not to be another douche with a camera.

In simple words, I'm discovering, or rediscovering the joy of doing things a little outside of what I'm used to. Outside the comfort zone, maybe. Things that make me feel I might fall on my ass. But also, maybe not.

What about you?