Entre sueños y recuerdos

Soñé contigo, desperté pensándote, absorta en los recuerdos. Fue un encuentro tan hermoso que cerré mis ojos, anhelando volver a soñarte. Y lo logré, aún despierta, te he vuelto a soñar. Los recuerdos de los buenos momentos saltaron repentinamente. Entre risas, cafés y alguna copa, nos he visto, como antes, como siempre, como eso que fuimos.

Aquel ayer en el que decidíamos apostar a ser felices solo porque sí, cuando actuábamos por impulso y no por razón. Cuando éramos un libro abierto a la aventura. Recordé nuestros mejores momentos, hasta que la risa se vio empañada por las lágrimas. Lágrimas de nostalgia, tristeza, rabia y añoranza. Lágrimas a las que les faltó el perdón, las mismas que el orgullo enterró.

Al recordarte, descubrí cuánto te he querido, desde siempre. Si te volviera a ver, te abrazaría hasta fundirme contigo, hasta que las lágrimas del dolor se transformaran en alegrías, hasta que mis labios pronunciaran tu nombre para pedirte perdón y decirte cuánto te amo. Si te volviera a ver, detendría el tiempo para no despedirme tan pronto.

Nos debemos un abrazo, un café, un paseo, una pijamada y una borrachera. Nos debemos mirarnos a los ojos sin hablar. Nos debemos tomarnos de las manos y sonreír con esa complicidad tan nuestra. Nos debemos ese viaje solo para dos, en la Toscana italiana a bordo de un descapotable, cantando a todo pulmón. Nos debemos más que un mensaje y una llamada.

Estuve allí, ese día, estuve allí. Nunca te lo dije, preferí que pensaras que no me importó, pero allí estuve, con el pecho hinchado de felicidad al verte triunfar. Te aplaudí, te celebré e incluso hice algo de magia. Sí, fui yo, no me odies. Estoy orgullosa de ti. Siempre lo estuve, siempre lo estaré.

Es verdad, me alejé, cambié de número, de zona horaria y de código postal, bloqueé toda posibilidad de encuentro y contacto. Me equivoqué, ahora lo entiendo. Las heridas, aunque sanen, dejan cicatrices. Esas marcas no me han dejado avanzar, esas marcas son un demonio que no me deja perdonar, esas marcas alimentan este estúpido orgullo que me alejó de ti.

¡Qué increíble! Aún no te llamo y ya quiero colgar.
Quizás falta más tiempo...tal vez solo te deba seguir soñando.

! [ENGLISH VERSION]
Between Dreams and Memories

I dreamed of you, woke up thinking of you, lost in memories. It was such a beautiful encounter that I closed my eyes, longing to dream of you again. And I succeeded, still awake, I've dreamt of you once more. The memories of good times suddenly rushed back. Amidst laughter, coffees, and a few drinks, I've seen us, just like before, as always, as what we used to be.

That yesterday when we decided to bet on happiness just because, when we acted on impulse and not reason. When we were an open book to adventure. I remembered our best moments until the laughter was clouded by tears. Tears of nostalgia, sadness, anger, and yearning. Tears that lacked forgiveness, the same ones buried by pride.

Remembering you, I discovered how much I've loved you, always. If I were to see you again, I'd hug you until we melt together, until the tears of pain turn into joy, until my lips utter your name to ask for forgiveness and tell you how much I love you. If I were to see you again, I'd stop time to avoid saying goodbye so soon.

We owe each other a hug, a coffee, a walk, a sleepover and a binge. We owe each other to look each other in the eyes without speaking. We owe each other to hold hands and smile with that complicity that is so much ours. We owe each other that trip just for two, in the Italian Tuscany aboard a convertible, singing with all our might. We owe each other more than a message and a call.

I was there, that day, I was there. I never told you, I preferred you to think I didn't care, but I was there, my heart swelling with happiness at your success. I applauded you, celebrated you, and even performed a bit of magic. Yes, it was me, don't hate me. I'm proud of you. I always was, and I always will be.

It's true, I distanced myself, changed my number, time zone, and postal code, and blocked every possibility of an encounter and contact. I made a mistake, now I understand. Wounds, even when they heal, leave scars. Those marks haven't allowed me to move forward, those marks are a demon that won't let me forgive, those marks feed this foolish pride that pushed me away from you.

How incredible! I haven't called you yet, and I already want to hang up.

Maybe more time is needed... perhaps I should just keep dreaming of you.

_{Las fotografías son de mi autoría y propiedad, tomadas con un iPhone 12 Pro Max y editadas con Snapseed.
The photographs are my authorship and ownership, taken with an iPhone 12 Pro Max and edited with Snapseed.}

_{The translation of this text has been assisted with the translation tool DeepL.}

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