One day

Oh life, why? Why do I find myself having to be reminded to live. Why? A dog doesn't need to be reminded. It just lives.

"One day", I say. Then a decade later I look back, and I'm like okay. That was a lot of days I spent chasing that one day.

So I slow down, trying to enjoy this day. Only to be reminded of the need for balance. The realization that despite all those days I spent in the chase. I have yet to put together enough of the puzzle to completely stop chasing.

Feelings of resentment tempting me to walk away. Yet grounded commitment, and past experience reminding me of the consequences of that decision.

So I refine my chase. I strive for balance. Realizing that even that, requires commitment. Decision after decision, my days come and go.

I tell myself that I'm learning as the fruits from the previous day's decisions and even indecisions manifest. I make no excuses. I decided, and their fruits continue to sprout.

As I continue to live, I find that I've also collected experience. It sticks with me, like resin on a smokers favorite pipe. With that experience can now utilize previous wisdoms that I was unqualified to use in the past.

"One day" is all I can say, as I continue to decide. Day by day I live to decide, and remind myself that balance is a decision. As long as I continue to live, I am free to decide.

Some days I am more confident in what I've learned, then others. Yet even now the fruits of previous decisions are sprouting. My experience leaves me with a sense of urgency. Remembering the fruits of past indecisions.

Yet I strive to live. I cling to experience willing myself towards the next decision, while longingly looking towards balance. Intentionally ignoring the "if only I'ds".

I live. Therefore, I decide and as that one day approaches, I know that I will have made many good decisions.

(All photos used were taken with my one plus 7, and being to me)
Thanks for sharing with me.