I explored for a little bit longer before things really started to get overwhelming, and then I made my way back to my tent because I knew I was gonna need to lay down for an hour or two while the intense part of the trip passes. Once I got back into my tent, I realized that I hadn't really set anything up inside my tent. This was not the time to worry about getting set up, so I stood there pretty confused and wondered what I was gonna do so I could lay down.

I had stuff all over my cot and my sleeping bag wasn't on the cot yet. Normally this would be easy to deal with because I would just move everything, but I was so confused on where I would put anything. Then I noticed a package of hot dog buns that I brought. A beam of light was shiny on them and I could see condensation building up inside the bag. I started to worry about the hot dog buns and that they were growing mold in the bag. Then I realized that I was just standing there staring at hot dog buns and I knew I needed to focus and get my
cot cleared up so I could lay down.

I started my playlist and laid down on the cot and then drifted off into a magical world of color and energy. One of first songs that of my playlist had monks chanting and each time they chanted "Om", I saw a bright white light and I was just overcome with emotions. I just laid there in the tent and cried as waves of love and peace washed over me.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow came on next. That song is one that I have played for my grandson since the day he was born. I would sing it to him throughout the day and when he was on his swing. But listening to it now was different. My kids have so many memories with my dad singing this song to them and it made the song so much more special.

The mushrooms then made me think of when I was stationed in Korea while I was in the military. That year in Korea was one of my hardest years of my life. I had just spent a year in Iraq for the start of the war and then after I got home from Iraq, the Army sent me right to Korea. I remember when I left my wife and my son and got on the plane to fly out and how I was not able to cry or anything. Then I remembered how I was not able to cry or release any emotion while I was in Korea either because I was so busy and in charge of so much that I couldn't show any emotions. It was like the flood gates had been released and I cried so hard. 20 years worth of emotions that I had stuffed deep down were surfacing and being released. It was one of the most cleansing crying sessions I have ever had.

I felt the loneliness, fear and so many other emotions that I had been holding onto and the tears just released all of those feelings. I felt that parts of me were dying and I was being reborn into a new person during this experience. It is pretty hard to describe, but it is one of the most healing moments of my life.

I don't even know how long I was in the tent crying, but after a while, I emerged out of there as a new man. I was probably about three hours into the trip and had another three hours or so to go, but the most intense parts were done.

I laid in a hammock for a while by the fire and just listened to music and appreciated my life. Then I took my camera and went out exploring some more and took pictures. All of the pictures in this post were taken during my trip, except for the picture of the Pans. I wasn't sure how the pictures were gonna turn out because it is a bit weird trying to work a big camera while on mushrooms. I think they turned out pretty neat though.

I sat against a tree and looked out at the water for a while. I thought about how time pretty much stops out in nature and how nice it was to be away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Doing mushrooms out in nature was a totally different experience and it felt like my soul was home.

This trip was a very special one for me. I released so much sadness and loneliness that I had stuff down for so long. These types of experiences put things into perspective. Life is short and hard at times, but the purpose is to love others and experience life. The world is so full of beauty.