My Sleeping Disorder

Where do I begin with? Have you ever in your life, that you woke up before your alarm clock started to make noise? When you're awake, you have no idea you're awake, where you have the kind of awareness between your dream and waking up? I'm sure there are tons of better writers able to describe it, and I'm too lazy to Google it up for you the kind of drifting reality I have now.

I don't particularly feel tired during the day. However, I will wake up 4am in the morning. I know so because my sleep tracker never fail me. The heartbeat monitor suggested I have a bad dream or excitement at the same time everyday. And I will be trying to sleep in, and counting 63829 sheep's before the alarm clock sets off 🤣

As previous paragraph suggested, I don't feel physically tired at all, since I continue my rest closing my eyes. However, I'm not exactly sure I have enough rest with my brain. I felt bored most of the time even watching my favorite documentary air crash disaster on YouTube, but the short 30 seconds advertisement I don't mind though.

I did some searching on line, found this is mainly due to my mental state. I've been on high alert for the passed couple of months, where the company is putting unusual amount of pressure on me, with the fact that the peers are leaving me behind at the hostile working environment, my mind is 24 hours on guard. One hand in worrying how should I answer if being questioned, on the other hand I wanted to quit so badly but I am not ready to be on my own yet.

Some of the solution involved with psychological relief, like listening to soothing music; removed screen time hours before going to bed, and possibly decaffeinate to avoid blocking the receptor. Put up proper exercise and sleep schedule and start tuning in.

Others involved with drugs and medicine, I think I'm gonna pass. Not like we have not enough real life case already. Those shit can be very addictive and before I know it's I'm already swallowing a ton of them.

April is coming to an end, I need to get my tax file done before the last day. I've done two power walk, once in the morning and once more in the evening. Unfortunately, rain triggered and cut short of my evening walk, rendered me looked like pulling out from chicken soup(that's a Chinese old saying 落汤鸡).

And the GPS isn't doing justification either. I only know I'm recording 14k steps so far. Let's try to sleep in early tonight. I can't do decaf just yet, I already de-cigarettes after all. I will consider a full decaf later state when I have better control of my mouth.