metamorphosis
Saturday morning. 40 degrees and light drizzle. Windy. I'm huddled in front of the space heater on high. Window open. Drinking coffee. Rebelling against myself by writing without reading glasses.
Do I want a simple life? Or, better, do I lead one?
I microdosed last night before bed. A small amount of mushrooms. Fell asleep watching Northern Exposure. One of the main characters has run away from materialism and is living off grid in a Native American village. One day at a time. Self trust and connection with the wild world. He is fiction but I envy his freedom. His escape from the domestic mindset.
I do have some of that detachment in my daily life. Moreso, I think, than the average person in my community. It could be part of why I so often feel I am looking in on my culture more than participating. I don't delude myself, though. I am very attached to my things. Very dependent on the convenience of city life.
It sucks me in.
I find myself window shopping lately. On Amazon. New beanie, new couch, new shirts, display cases. Things I don't need. Things I don't truly want to acquire from the platform of cheap deals designed to put profit in a few bulging pockets so that the majority of us can satisfy impulsive whims brought on by a need to satiate desires too inundated to define.
I go to the store almost every day to feed some new food craving.
Hungry. Always hungry.
Maybe it's winter. Too much television, social media. Addiction to the pursuit of escape while loathing the escape itself because it does not take me anywhere.
It's not all bad, of course. I do find myself writing more.
Maybe this is a transition. A transformation. I am noticing these empty wants so that I may learn to let them go.
I have struggled with finances most of my life. Perhaps I have been pursuing a life that is not for me.
This is my entry for the #monomad challenge, held daily in the Black and White Community.
Give it a try. Maybe it's what you need.
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All the stuff (pictures, words, etc.) I put in this post and any of my other posts is mine (unless otherwise stated) and can't be used by anyone else unless Pilot and I say it's ok.
Perhaps becoming comfortable with the ambiguity is the comfort.
:)
I like your winter writing. ❤️
Thanks, friend. 😘
Thank you @ackhoo and Team @qurator!
Thank you @ladiesofhive!!
Congratulations. Today's #monomad second place is yours.
Thank You very much for participating and for being part of the Black And White Community!
Yay thanks!!!!
I love your photos. And I love your writing, did I tell you that? No, I haven't told you yet. Or I don't know, maybe it's because I lead a busy life and I'm always hungry. Well, stop buying hats and store displays but buy healthy food.
Hugs.
Thanks for loving my writing and telling me that you love my writing!!
Do need a new hat, soon, though.
Made a 20 hour bone broth the other day! I like good food.
😐 is this a metaphor?
Well, no, apparently a broth like this is made over low heat for 20 hours... 😮 I just saw it now.
It says there that you don't need a beanie (This is not a hat?) and now you do... well, that's how we are hahaha... I joke, and smile.
It was my first time making it that long. I used beef bones, but next time it will be chicken. Much tastier. I wish chickens weren't so tasty. I do love them so...
As for the beanie, not that it needs explaining, but it's fun to write so I will explain anyway: I have one that I found abandoned in the beautiful desert. It's wool. It itches. I have another one that I got on clearance at the outdoor store that doesn't itch but isn't really my style. The one I had, that I planned never to replace, decided that twenty years with me was long enough and left without saying goodbye.
Maybe I can hold out until next winter.
Thank you, I smiled again reading your explanation. But hey, just go and buy it. It's cold over there.
It is! It doesn't seem like it knows how to get cold in Havana. My cousin recently moved just above you, in South Florida. I look at her weather all the time and it's never not hot.
I should get the women's hockey league beanie.
The cold we've been having these days is just a light breeze, 🥶 but it's freezing me out and I can't get out from under the blankets. It's so crazy, one moment it's chilly and the next moment it's hot.
Yes! Good idea!
And I need a helmet for my bike rides.
You should definitely get a helmet. You only have one head.
Your entry to the challenge made my interest grow even more. Your reflection has been most piercing for me, accumulating unnecessary products in a virtual cart, security of power and stability that makes us want to acquire more and more, consumerism and rottenness. I send you a hug, thank you for such beautiful words and photographs.
Thanks for your comment, @littlesorceress! I always love to hear how my creations reach people.