Liquid assets
Oh man. I suck right now. Like, bad. I've deleted three whole paragraphs of bullshit already just tryin' to write something remotely interesting and unique because I like writing and I want to be good at it but when I suck at it, like I do tonight, I question why I bother with this wicked craft, which is really like a self-inflicted torture ride into insanity every time I do it.
I mean, instead of wasting an hour or more on what probably only I think is real writing I could do something productive, like go online and look at hockey gear like it's pornography. I could look at that gear and try and figure out what asshole I'm gonna pull money out of to get outfitted just so I can do the tryout that I know will tell me I need to take classes before I can join a league because you can't just up and be good at hockey 30 years later, especially when you weren't really that good 30 years ago. The classes will not be free, which means I need to start looking for yet another ass from which to pull money.
I could pull money out of an ATM's ass but in order to do that a person needs a special card to which a well-funded bank account is attached. I don't have that at the moment, and I can't very well walk into Play It Again Sports with a hundred dollar bill and say "I'm feeling nostalgic, can we pretend this has the buying power it had three decades ago?"
I used to have a sugar daddy. Twenty or so years ago. He bought me a dog and a darkroom setup and a bunch of burritos and alcohol and we never had sex. It was great. He was going to get me a Roadrunner but I couldn't afford the insurance or the gas and you don't make a Roadrunner a daily driver, everyone said. So instead we put a glass pack muffler on my '89 Ford Escort and big tires on the back wheels to give it a mean tilt. Then we drove it to Yellowstone.
It was a good time.
Maybe I should give him a call.
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All the stuff (pictures, words, etc.) I put in this post and any of my other posts is mine (unless otherwise stated) and can't be used by anyone else unless I say it's ok. If you want to offer me a substantial sum of money to use my content, I'll consider it. But it has to be enough to pay off my credit card debt and cover hockey expenses for the next year. Maybe two if I'm any good.
That look on the first photo, tells a lot! 😃📸👍
We featured your photograph in our @PhotoCuration selection, congrats!
Thanks @photocuration!!
Welcome, @corvidae! 📸👍
A sugar daddy?!!! Yes, you ought to give him a call. What's this about hockey? Did Canada do something to you when you went through?
What do yo mean what about hockey? I've always loved hockey! When people find out I'm into hockey they ask if I'm from Canada. It's always fun when I say "No, I'm from San Diego."
He never actually called himself my sugar daddy (I don't know if any of them actually do), and I didn't let him buy/pay for most of the shit he wanted to buy because I wasn't exactly comfortable with it.
LOL! I meant what I said about hockey. I'm only a fan of it when it's not pro and I'm not treated as if I'm the hockey puck when playing with minus all padding. Plus Canadians talk hockey non-stop. It gets boring after a while.
Yeah, I get it about your friend, I just had to make jokes. I get not feeling comfortable, been there too many times and said no.
This or This
Whoa that's harsh! How about this.
Something got into me in the moment. I'm not sure what. It happens and then disappears. Love this one, lol!
On repeat in this today. I'm so happy everything constantly changes. Never know what bag of "things" (insert other word for things) each day will bring. Sometimes these won't upload for whatever reason.
You can say shit on my page. I don't mind.
Luckily I don't think any of the other penguins saw that guy eat things when that rock got in his way.
This is where I admit two things:
I was thinking of this, which isn't actually a swear.
One of my rules on Hive is that I'm not allowed to use swears in writing posts or comments. It's because it's too easy for me to add in swears and this self-rule makes it more challenging for me.
I'm doing a little better today. This week has been all over the bloody place.
Whoa that site has some good stuff. I especially like the box of annoying sand. So simple. And yet so effective.
There was a Tom Robbins character, Can o' Beans, who believed that people who needed to use swear words were ineloquent or of limited intelligence or something to that effect. Which makes me think Tom Robbins opined that as well. Fuck that. Sometimes you gotta tell some shithead to eat a bag of dicks. But also, I totally get it, challenging yourself. Especially when it comes to eloquently telling some self-lobotomized urchin to go lick lead.
Glad you're doing a litter better today.
I just died laughing! 🤣🤣🤣 Totally hilarious. I agree, screw that. Yeah, I like to swear far too much, so it's especially challenging (and satisfying) to have such urges and tell myself, NO.
Litter better? More like Litter Batter.
I know CPR!!
Ew!! Ten Points!! Ewwwwww.
What if I don't want to be resuscitated? Did you think of that before CPR?
😂
if only you knew what I was doing right now
Since it's been 11 days since you wrote this we'd have to call it necrophilia and not resuscitation. But I'm not into the whole non-consensual thing.
It's been over 11 days since I haven't sewn my thumbs together waiting for CPR. I'm sorry. I had to die and reincarnate as a sewing machine.
Non-consensual is always a NO. 😂
@dandays, can you hook up @corvidae with more options please?
Did she say an hour or more as in one? Did I understand that correctly, one hour? Doubt I'm much help, I spent that long
editingchangingrearranging this response.She did. You understood correctly. I meant can you assist her with more sugar daddy options.
@corvidae go to the source.
😂 Sugar Happiness
Are you saying I should ask Jaccar to be my sugar daddy? Ask him if he could send me a boatload of sugar?
You guys lost me, @nineclaws and @dandays. Besides I don't want actual sugar. That shit makes me puffy and sad. I want the lean mean green. Extra mean, please.
Don't worry, it's a thing we do and that is the usual response from others. 😂 @dandays is a champ at this and I can't resist.
Wait, what is @dandays a champ at? Sugar hockey?
I don't like to brag but I'm undefeated at pocket pool.
Is this one of your salami jokes????
The magic of small
A special kind of virtual tennis.
Played with a virtual sweater draped jauntily across his virtual shoulders?
Only if the sweater is pink. It must be pink. Any other colour would stink. I mean the guy has a pink thing, deliberately buys many things in that shade. I'm certain if he saw a pink car that was in his price range he'd buy that too.
😆🤣😂😆🤣😂😆🤣😂😆🤣😂
hi I'm 12
😂🤣😂🤪🤪🤪🤣😂🤣
hi, I don't know my true age
@dandays you missed this one, tsk, tsk
@nineclaws I think we should report this highly vulgar and offensive image. and we gotta tell @ginnyannette about it, too, cuz she just looooooooves getting second-hand thingpic trauma.
@dandays you make a much better impression on a laptop than an iPhone.
If you report him, you'll have to report me too.
#pinkthing
Sorry it took so long to respond. My eyes burned out when I saw that and I had to wait for them to grow back.
😂 Now you're going and sounding all Canadian again.
@dandays missed seeing it completely, I think it's a dog thing, as in blinded by Atlas.
I - No he didn't.
II - Totally guilty.
#dogporn
@corvidae, he's dog porning everywhere
@dandays that dog is NOT PINK.
Correct, she is Atlas.
I look and this and I think
I gotta get off the comprootah and go snuggle my Pilot.
Mary qué?
Scroll back a bit.
You said pink car. You don't get it?
Of course I get it. I just wanted to see if I could get you to scroll up again.
Qué?
Is that the only french word you learned in France?
That's Spanish. You're probably thinking crêpe.
I thought you didn't speak Spanish....
Only if it has the right thing rolled up in it.
Lean mean green with extra mean = the hulk
I find this kind of hulk a little less scary, albeit a little less green. he plays a mean net, though.
He's using a micro sized net, is a carnivore, is mostly orange, and devious by nature.
Maybe today... but you still managed to grind out a post in the end anyway so that counts for something right? Besides, I'm sure tomorrows post will be totally awesome to make up for it ;-)
I dunno, 'real witing' for me is honest and from the heart (yes i know thats cliched) and you've got that in spades.
Bollocks to that, if you want to do something, then flippin' go for it
er...well if the funds allow it of course
Can you not borrow kit (I don't know much about Hockey kitwise but i can imagine pads plus helmet plus skates aren't cheap) Maybe look for 2nd hand stuff? It would be annoying to spend a couple hundred dollars to get a resounding no. Is it worth trying to talk to the club and explaining your current/past experience etc and seeing if they think its worth you trying in the fist place?
🖤Thanks! Same here. I actually like what I write more than half the time if only because it's fun to use that part of my brain. But sometimes self-deprecation is funny to me, and maybe funny to some other people. Really it's more like laughing at my own humanity. It's nice to be able to put it out there but hide it behind the pretty pictures so only a few people actually read it, but kid myself and pretend it's practically "published work."
I have skates already, luckily. And I'm going to the used sporting goods place this weekend to check out the prices. Pants I have to get new because, well, they're pants, and I don't want to be rubbing someone else's used sweat against my crotch. I'm hoping to do it all under $500, used, if that gives you an idea of the costs of things. I think the main issue is that they just can't make cheap equipment for a sport that involves players on a slick surface with discs of solid rubber whizzing about at breaktooth speeds...