Wait... I kinda like this

Today I felt this sudden surge of tangled emotions that came out of nowhere and decided to pour it onto paper. It was either that or going outside to run a whole marathon in the rain, so of course I chose the first option, you could guess, hihi.

It's been pouring almost the entire day. And me, well, I love it, I really do, especially when it drums loudly against the plastic sheet covering firewood right below our window. Still, it seems that constant sound sort of hypnotized me, because at moments today I felt these small waves of depression.

Maybe it's not really depression, but state an artist gets into right before starting his next masterpiece. But why would I know that, I'm not an artist. 😁

It started like this. A sketchbook with thick, perfect pages for drawing in front of me, one of my favorite coffee mugs with that cute little design on it and laptop in the background driving me crazy because all of the USB ports are loose and keep losing connection with mouse and TP-Link I use for internet. So I said to myself, since I clearly haven't evolved enough technologically to go wireless and ditch all the cables, why not go back to paper? Paper is something that will never betray you. Thank you very much. Paper never fails! 🥰

So I started scribbling on it… First I drew a few leaves with a pencil, thinking it might turn into some kind of flower. Then I started coloring with colored pencils, dipping them in water, trying some sort of watercolor thing. In the end, I grabbed a navy marker and started tracing over it. 😄 It didn't look like anything. My preschool "Čiča Gliša" was a hundred times better.
I remembered I had some temperas left over from the last time I painted that little bird house from Pepco. Just enough colors to repaint everything I had messed up, so basically the whole page, hihi. xD Little by little, it started to look somewhat normal. Maybe you can even spot the original leaves and petals hiding under the paint.

When I finished coloring, my silly little drawing and my hands and the table and basically everything around xD, I looked at it and realized it wasn't good enough. Maybe a little better, but nope, still not... That didn't stop me from taking like three hundred pictures of it and making these cool close-up shots of just certain parts where I'd layered more paint which hadn't dried yet, which I really liked.

But as a whole piece, nah. On a scale from 1 to 10, I gave myself a -1 in that moment. xD

Then, a brilliant idea popped into my head. I'll just cut the drawing into strips, maybe one of them will turn out good enough to be used as a bookmark, I just need to laminate it and there you go. Then I remembered one more important thing -> I don't even read books, phahaha. xD

I decided to arrange the strips on two connected sheets from the same sketchbook, but this time with some space in between. And guess what? From the disappointment I felt a little while ago, I suddenly got to the point where I actually liked it, really, really liked it. Typical woman in PMS.

Now I need to glue it down, sign it and maybe even frame it and put it on wall. :D