Keys to a healthy relationship and red flags to avoid #lol 121

Hello ladies,

It’s a new week with really very amazing topic to discuss. As we all know, it’s a season of love and everything we do around this period should be centered on love and how to improve our relationship, friendship be it romantic or platonic. This week I will be answering the second question that has to do with a healthy relationship.

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2️⃣ Does love come on suddenly or grow over time? What are your keys
to ensure your relationship remains strong and healthy?

Due to individual differences, there is no single blueprint for a healthy relationship. What constitutes a satisfying romantic partnership in your twenties may have little in common with what you seek in your thirties.

Exactly what constitutes a "healthy relationship" can vary from couple to couple, as each pair has their own unique set of requirements for a happy union.

Relationships that thrive, however, exhibit a few distinctive characteristics. Which are;

• Transparent dialogue

Communicating openly about highs, lows, and everything in between is a sign of a healthy relationship.

Everyday stresses like those at work or with friends, as well as more serious issues like mental health symptoms or financial worries, should all be discussed freely and openly.

A person who listens without passing judgment and then offers their own viewpoint is respected and valued.

Interactions are two-way streets. You should also have faith that they will bring up their own issues or thoughts as they arise.

• Trust

Honesty and uprightness are necessary for establishing trust. You are not the type to keep secrets from one another. They can't pursue other people while you're apart.

There is more to trusting someone than assuming they won't deceive you.

As an added bonus, it implies that you are secure in the knowledge that they will not cause you any harm, either mentally or physically. You trust that they are looking out for you while still giving you space to pursue your own interests.

• The knowledge that you are a unique individual

Strong bonds are those in which both partners rely on one another. In a relationship marked by interdependence, each partner relies on the other for support while still seeing themselves as separate people.

So, it sounds like things are pretty even between you two. You are confident in your own worth regardless of their opinions or feelings. Each of you is there for the other, but neither of you relies on the other to fulfill their needs.

You maintain your own social circle, outside of the couple you're with, and you enjoy your own activities in your spare time.

• Curiosity

Curiosity is a vital component of a loving relationship that lasts.

This shows that you care about what they have to say and how their day goes in general. It's your hope that they become the best version of themselves. You aren't stuck on your ideal version of them or their past selves.

You have adaptable perspectives on one another."

Being curious also means being open to discussing potential changes to your relationship dynamics if you find parts of it to be unsatisfying. This also requires an element of realism. The real person, not some idealized version, is what you care about, and that's how you know you've truly seen them.

• Separateness

Spending time together is a priority for most people in healthy relationships, though the exact amount of time you spend together will vary from couple to couple depending on factors like each person's individual needs, work and other obligations, living arrangements, and so on.

You value time spent with others, but you also know the value of quiet reflection and time alone. Perhaps you take this time to yourself and do something you enjoy, spend time with friends and family, or do a combination of the two.

You don't have to do everything together, and you shouldn't feel like your relationship suffers if you have to spend some time apart.

• sense of humor or playfulness

Once in a while, it's good to let loose and do something spontaneous. A positive sign is the sharing of humorous banter.

You or your partner may experience difficulties in life from time to time. As a result, it may be difficult to communicate and connect with each other as usual for a little while.

In spite of difficulties, your bond will grow stronger if you can laugh together and relieve some of the tension.

• Intimacy

Generally speaking, sex is associated with intimacy, but this is not always the case. Sexual activity is not for everyone. It's not necessary to maintain a happy relationship, so long as you and your partner are able to meet each other's emotional and psychological needs in other ways.

If neither of you is interested in having sexual relations, you and your partner may still be physically intimate by kissing, hugging, cuddling, and sleeping together. No matter how close you are to one another, it's crucial that you take the time to physically interact and bond.

Your sexual relationship is likely healthy if you both enjoy sexual activity.

feel safe making the first move in a sexual encounter, discussing feelings, and dealing with rejection positively
free yourself to talk about your desire for sexual activity
Intimacy that is both healthy and safe requires both partners to observe appropriate sexual boundaries, not forcing partners to engage in sexual activity when they say no talking about other partners talking about sexual risk factors

• Cohesion and cooperation

A group of people with a solid bond can be called a team. When you and another person don't agree on something or aim for the same thing, you can still work together and be supportive of one another.

Simply put, you've got each other's backs. When times get tough, you know you can count on them. In addition, you are always prepared to lend a helping hand whenever your friends and family require it.

• Managing Disagreements

Conflict and emotional outbursts are normal parts of any relationship, even a healthy one. It's perfectly normal to feel that way. It's not evidence that something is wrong with your connection.

Conflict resolution is crucial. You're on the right track if you can discuss your differences with civility, honesty, and respect.

When couples discuss their differences without anger or hostility, they are more likely to reach an agreement.

Cautionary Signs

Every meaningful relationship should enhance its members' sense of purpose, joy, and belonging. Your relationship may be in trouble if you experience increased feelings of anxiety, distress, or unhappiness whenever you are with your significant other.

Some signs that your relationship is unhealthy are as follows:

• You both try to change or control the other.

You should feel safe enough to bring up a concern about a particular behavior. You can tell them how you feel and suggest some changes if you want to. However, it is inappropriate to direct their actions or try to manage their actions.

Your relationship with them may not have any future if there is something about them that really bothers you and you can't accept.

• There is a lack of boundary respect in your relationship.

Regard for one another's space and the need for privacy are just two examples of the many ways in which boundaries can impact a relationship. An alarming red flag is if you set a limit and they try to fight it or force you to change it.

You might have said something like, "I need some time to myself when I get home from work. I'm glad to see you again, but I need some time to relax first.

However, they still follow you into the house and try to kiss and grab you in bed as soon as you enter. And then, when you say no, they say, "I'm sorry, I just can't help myself."

You could take this as a token of their affection and keep restating the boundary in the hopes that they'll get the point after a while. In any case, their actions demonstrate contempt for what you require.

• There isn't a lot of quality time spent between the two of you.

When two people enjoy being in each other's company and want to spend more time together, that's a common catalyst for the growth of a relationship. It's inevitable that unexpected circumstances will arise and disrupt your plans to spend time together.

If there is no obvious explanation for why you are spending less time together, such as family issues or work, it may be a sign that your relationship is in trouble.

Feeling emotionally distant or even relieved when you're apart are additional red flags. To the point where you two actively seek out ways to avoid spending time together.

• The partnership does not feel equal.

A healthy relationship is one that has a fair amount of balance. You could split the bills down the middle or split up the chores to make up for one person's lower income.

However, intangibles like love, openness, and mutually agreed-upon standards of behavior can also be a basis for equality in a relationship.

It's possible for there to be unequal periods at various points in time. For example, one of you may experience a temporary loss of income, find it difficult to contribute to household tasks due to illness, or feel less affectionate due to stress or other emotional turmoil.

However, this can become a problem if there is a persistent sense of imbalance in your relationship.

• They speak ill of you or others and spread rumours about you.

It's perfectly acceptable to express worry about your partner's actions if they cause you concern. However, in a happy partnership, each partner takes care to communicate their emotions in constructive ways.

It's not good for relationships when people are constantly critiquing each other and saying intentionally hurtful things, especially about things like diet, style, and TV preferences. It's not helpful to receive criticism that lowers your self-esteem or makes you feel guilty.

Take note of how they describe other people. Even if your relationship appears to be fine on the surface, you should think about what it says about them as a person if they engage in behaviors like using hate speech, slurs, or discriminatory remarks.

• Having trouble being heard in your relationship

One reason you might not feel heard is that they don't seem to care when you bring up a problem or share something that's been on your mind. You may also be reluctant to voice your opinion or broach sensitive topics for fear of being dismissed.

It's possible for things to be misunderstood. But if you talk things out and they seem receptive, but don't change or seem to have forgotten what you talked about by the next day, that's also a red flag.

• Your partner doesn't make you feel happy or at ease.

Boosting one's joy and contentment in life are two of the most common reasons people seek out romantic partners. If you're constantly on edge or unhappy, it could be because your partner isn't providing for you in the ways that you need them to.

This is possible even if both partners are making an effort to keep the relationship strong. Both of you may have done nothing "wrong," as people's levels of satisfaction and sense of confinement can fluctuate over time. It's possible you've both grown and changed to the point where you no longer complement one another.

• Argument or debate.

Solutions or compromise are the usual results of constructive conflict resolution. Relationship maintenance takes work, so don't expect instant solutions. You may not always walk away from a conversation feeling great, but you usually do. It's not uncommon to observe some development.

Speaking in circles or rehashing the same topics over and over is rarely a good sign. It's possible that no amount of talking about a problem will ever lead to a solution. The door may have been closed on you inevitably.

Conclusion

You two may have connected over a mutual interest in spelunking and a love of Indian cuisine, but these things won't do much to ensure the long-term viability of your relationship.

Both of you should be able to rely on and feel secure in each other's company. Know that you can improve as a unit through shared study and experience.

Listen to your gut if you're concerned that your relationship is fading or isn't what it used to be. A therapist can help you determine if you should keep trying or if you should give up.