Honestly Healing

Had a fun little adventure around a week ago. :)
I funnily enough posted a status update about finding adventure before I left and I did not plan to go where I ended up which ended up being a really interesting "adventure".

I'm not ready to go into details too much, but the spot I was looking around I believe there is some kind of conspiracy or cover up going on there in that area... I think something important was literally "covered up" there and I wanna get to the bottom of it so to speak.

Before I left I had smoked one of my last bowls of cannabis and had some kratom and was inspired by some "be yourself" "authenticity" YouTube type vids I've been watching and I was flying! I felt so amazingly good, I was smiling at everyone and trying to talk to people and just felt so alive and "real".

Saw a butterfly, a squirrel and a frog!
Saw the frog when I was having special thoughts, and a few of the symbolic meanings I found on Google include fertility, rebirth and good luck! Those are good symbols for me right now! ._.

There was one part on the path where I heard the cicadas and they were so loud! I had to just stop and listen for a while and soak it up... Nature is so beautiful sometimes!

I found a spool of wire that did not look rusted and I was thinking I might be able to use it to make some necklaces... I bought some copper wire already and I've been meaning to make some jewelry, but... Just haven't got to it yet... Hopefully in the not too distant future though I'll be making some cool jewelry!

Another neat thing that happened as I was walking down the street one of my neighbors said hi and congratulated me on the new job!

Well, it's not that "new" anymore, but nonetheless... It felt really nice to be acknowledged and noticed in such ways and then another neighbor waved to me and said hi as he drove by and it made me feel even more like I'm lucky to have some nice friendly people in my life!

I didn't post this sooner because my piriformis muscle has been bothering me and I didn't want to sit down at the computer chair long enough to type this up.
I'm finally getting a bit better and have felt a lot healthier the last couple days, hopefully I'm mostly back to normal soon! <3

Also, yesterday I went for a walk and there was a beautiful sunset!
I wish I had brought my drone, but still recovering from my piriformis muscle thing and it was too much to carry.

I took kratom again and felt so wonderful, there was a point where it was super windy with a nice cool breeze and all the trees were moving in the wind and it was awesome!

The seasons be changing... I sense a new chapter of life approaching.
And... I have a feeling it's going to be an epic one. Much love friends. ❤️

Also... A poem.

Sometimes I feel like Frankenstein... They put me back together.
Here I am awakening one more time... Always giving laughs forever.
With a soul that shines through the masks in the eyes of others.
After falling behind to last, reconnecting with what was once severed.
Broken threads of mind redefined in ways at long last that seem even better.

If you really care about me, then just let me be me.
Cause... I've been merrily working on my authenticity.
This inner child is funny, smiling and apparently breaking free.
On a mission to be somewhere peaceful, happy and genuinely uplifting.

People be battling their own inner demons reflected in others.
But, maybe we should rattlingly flip the script, yep and hug our demons.
Radically unfettered bliss, making love to our demons.
A masterpiece of trusting the grief to extinguish false reasons.
Let's be taken with the seasons, fears emptying and retreating towards a deeper meaning.

Falling asleep while sleeping and waking up while awake.
Been coming out of my depression, yup and being more present as of late.
Learning how to let go of the crutches and be positive with my expressions.
Traumatized, but uhh... I want to try to change this fate!
Provocatively looking for the lesson and just trying to accept it.
I still cry... Though it's much lessened, plus no longer wishing I would die.
Healing through self love pressed in, mantras of affirming messages.
Prying open each pride inside, discovering the divine in essence.
Wading through a catastrophe of lies to find out what it means to be alive each second!

It's been grim since being abandoned was his story, memories pouring in of no one wanting to be with him.
Left alone sorely, too poorly, trying to heal his sin... Left alone again and again.
So deeper in allegory he went.
Quarried until he found the ultimate treasure that exists.
A love and glory no one else could give.
An acceptance for self, no longer abhorring what was truly his.

I love you more than is even possible.
A love letter to myself and everyone else.
Stopping the unstoppable.
Feeling what was never felt. ❤️