Aftereffects of Trauma
After a horrible situation where you can’t control what’s happening around you, everything feels unsafe; you start to feel afraid of things you used to love, you overthink, and crazy theories pop into your head—your brain is in survival mode every second, and it’s not easy at all. At one point, I even thought I was overreacting, but everyone I know who also experienced this horrible earthquake is going through exactly the same thing. It’s been two weeks since that incident, and two weeks with almost no sleep—I sleep every other day. It’s been a pretty difficult journey that has even led me to fear my surroundings, especially the sky and the weather, which has been very strange lately.
Under different circumstances, I know I would have enjoyed these beautiful sunsets more than ever; ever since the earthquake, the sky has been tinged with colors that are even more beautiful and intense than usual, but for some reason, when I see it, I feel bad—as if there were something wrong with watching a sunset. I associate it negatively with the incident, and it starts to terrify me.
Sometimes I look up at the sky for a while and notice things that seem so unreal—clouds that look bright at night. I don't know how to explain it, but I took this photo a few days ago. It was already 9 p.m., and the sky looked very bright, almost as if it were just starting to get dark. It was very strange—or maybe I just see it that way because I'm worried about everything.
It’s also worth mentioning that I have seen beautiful sunsets here with very striking colors, but that didn’t happen very often—for example, maybe once every two weeks or sometimes even less frequently. But since the earthquake, most afternoons have been very colorful, almost too fantastical… It reminds me so much of that day, since the sunset that day was spectacular.
All these photos are from different days. In fact, not long ago we had a red sky that was visible in many parts of the country, but in my area it only looked pink, purple, and blue. Many people started saying that bad things were still to come after they saw that red sky. I saw the photos and was really shocked—I wish I could have seen it (even though it would have scared me). I don’t really believe in that kind of thing, but we’ve been through so many strange situations that I’m starting to believe in everything, hahaha.
